Somehow, I have ended up exactly where I was and that is not the best place to be. I can rant and rave about not having effective migraine treatment, but when it is all said and done the doctors do what they please and every once and a while I am good for about six months before it all goes down the crapper again. It is insanely frustrating because it impacts my entire life. I’m the one that has to deal with the fallout.
Essentially, my position is missing work, getting fired, and being very poor
a crap load of pain tolerance, weak meds, working and training for a more stressful position.
Obviously, neither of these options is good. What I would like is to maintain the job I had before my medical leave, possibly with a decrease in hours (a shorter workday, even if it means a shorter lunch), no training for a new position at this point in time and medication that is half-assed beneficial to help me get to work.
Unfortunately, that is not one of the options available.
So, basically I have to keep going to work, no matter the pain, taking too many OTC meds and risking serious rebound to do so and pray my doctor comes up with something extremely brilliant before this gets the best of me. And there really is no need to say that chronic migraines, without abortives, really drags you down quickly, no matter what you do. My temperament and moods have been all over the place these last few weeks because it is extremely difficult to get to work on time and stay through the day. Naturally, when I get home any energy I had to maintain a facade is gone and I have nothing left in me, so I have been taking long naps after work just to have some relief really and because I can’t do anything else… but hey, at least my boss is happy and I suppose that counts for something.
And one thing I can say is that these daily vitamins and herbal treatments I have been taking make absolutely no difference… but in theory, I am ‘healthier’ for it.
Ever feel like you are on a slippery slope going down but you cannot stop yourself? Yeah. That.