Exercise is totally overrated

I have been attempting some mild exercise, under the theory that just a little will prevent my muscles from wilting and my ultra hypermobile knees from collapsing. It is really hard to get motivated when you have chronic migraines… a migraine is not the time to be thinking about any sort of movement. I read that aerobic exercise would not cause a migraine, so that does leave a small window of opportunity. I am not so sure about that theory, since I did a workout (by workout I mean danced several songs on my Wii… which totally counts) and not too long after his with one fricken whopping migraine.

Plus with FMS any sort of exercise causes a great deal more pain. Every time I do just a little of exercise on either upper body or lower, well then that whole muscle group hurts like hell for two to three days. Which means hard to have any consistent routine on a daily basis for sure, cause that pain compounds. Then I think if I keep doing it and just push through that pain, then maybe I will get to the point where at least I have some endurance and muscle stability (to hold those hypermobile joints in place)… and maybe that will be the case. What I do know is it will not help with the pain, cause FMS pain is all about the brain sending a constant pain signal out, so any pain is felt faster, stronger and longer… no matter how fit you are. So while there will be benefits, there will also be increased pain that will not recede with time.

But it has to be done, one way or the other. A couple weeks back I went out dancing and danced my butt off and had a blast (a rare thing for a hermit to do). It was awesome, and the booze helped with the immediate pain. The next day, well, I expected some discomfort, which there was, but I could also not put any pressure on one leg because my knee was shot (and that is not FMS related). So I figure that I better do something to get some basic muscle fitness going on before I have nothing to hold my bones up. Sounds like a sound choice to make. But dang that FMS pain can get nasty. Your feet hurt so bad you have to hobble, your arms hurt so bad you can straighten them if your life depended on it and the rest of you feels like you have been beaten with a stick. Plus, FMS makes you have no endurance, your muscles start to tremble and shake pretty quickly and that can last days. Hard to say whether I can keep it up. If the pain diminished in some consistent way then there would be hope, but not so much. And this is all from what most people would call some serious mild exercise. And this is also being on Lyrica, which actually helps with FMS pain, in the sense the immediate pain is not nearly as intense or felt as quickly.

I think I will have to convince myself that pain is good… that pain means I am trying and doing something that may make me, if not feel better, last longer. It helps that I am doing a game (that has objectives and goals and cool music, all of which encourage me to continue despite the discomfort). If it was straight up exercised, well, you might as well call it what it is… torture.

And then comes along the migraine… and I think jeez, this whole punishment-punishment thing is totally not working for me. I would seriously like some sort of reward for doing something good. It is basic behaviourism here… you do something that totally sucks but in the end you get some sort of reward for your efforts… and if my only reward is that if I can manage to make any significant change by doing mild exercise that I might not have to have knee replacement when I am fifty, well, that totally does not cut it. Doesn’t that totally suck? Anyway, I am going to keep at it, at the same slow pace and see if I can get some sort of baseline to build on.

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