Work, work, work. Such a joyful topic for us chronic pain folk isn’t it? I got what I call ‘laterally shifted’ today… that is put into a position that is exactly the same money wise and job wise… but literally laterally shifted out the door and a town away. The reasons for it are mostly revenue based, as in we have four sales staff members and our sales revenue stats show maybe we should only have three. As to why I personally got moved…who knows. I really don’t want to take that sort of thing personally in a negative way and it was ‘presented’ in a positive way, as in the place I am going has no one in my position so I’ll be the only one and they needed someone well rounded and yadda yadda. It’s not really that I’m insulted because it’s corporate business and they do what they do. I think it kinda sucks because I’ve been working at that location for 7 years and know my co-workers very well, but it’s not like I have a choice in the matter so I would rather be as positive as I can about it all.
Unfortunately, there are two factors I just don’t like and are two factors I specifically did like when I first chose this job. Some people don’t get when you have a disability it isn’t really about money, or a ‘career’ and whatnot… it is about atmosphere and environment and Location. This location is out of town and in a small little town, I’m not even sure how far away, but I think from my house to there will be about half an hour commute or more. Which to most people doesn’t seem like a big deal. And it really isn’t and it really wouldn’t be in normal circumstances. It is just that generally I avoid driving Period. I only drive to and from work because I have to and I only live five minutes away. I don’t like to extend that at all, not when I’m driving with migraines regularly.
It is just not a good idea and not one I’m comfortable with. Not one most of us are comfortable with. Which actually most people don’t get. It is both dangerous to drive with a migraine and to drive under the influence of the medication used to treat a migraine… so it is sort of a lose-lose situation, but the first isn’t going to get you into any legal trouble while the second might, but the first might get you just as dead. For me, it isn’t even really a pain factor, although pain and concentration must be a factor. It is more a visual snow aura thing… plus all the ‘other’ neurological aura symptoms that are spontaneous and erratic. Unpredictable as well. So I may not have any pain yet but since I have chronic migraines, and in my case that means I present with a permanent aura phase I can get neurological symptoms at any time. I could give you examples of how that could potentially affect driving and how it has, but there is no need to even get into that. The point is, there is no argument here amongst us. We know it isn’t a good idea, even if other people don’t see the potential concern. Even if that is ignored, the pain from just driving, as in the motion of the vehicle and light and concentrating that intently for a longer duration, increases migraine intensity. Hell, just going home for lunch sometimes on a bright summer day would increase a migraine for me such that I’d think it was better to not have. Unfortunately, we are talking rural here and there is no alternative solution here.
The second problem related to the first is that usually, I go home for lunch which enables me to have some downtime or ‘dark time’, nap time, chill time… and if need be time to take an abortive and let it settle properly. And now I’ll have to just suck it up all day without that break in the day, which will suck big time on a bad day… which let’s face it, is half the month. So… this situation will get worse in winter because I have no night vision to speak of which worries me. I tend to avoid driving at night outside of town at all costs, certainly in poor weather conditions.
My spouse isn’t too keen on the idea. He, obviously, doesn’t let me drive anywhere. He just thinks the pain alone from commuting every day like that will be too high and doesn’t think I should do it At All Period in the winter, due to the whole lack of night vision thing.
So there are really two solutions. A) we move to that location which means selling our house in a crappy market after we just refinanced or B) finding alternative employment. If it ends up being B at least I have the whole summer to do so, which I think I can last through.
My spouse thinks I should find some sort of work I can do from home, so maybe I should actively look into that. I mean, I like financial stability. I worry to put too much financial burden on my spouse. So, even when things got really, really rough with my employer I stuck it out because there was consistency there. Sure it made me suicidal but at least they couldn’t fire me for being sick, or at least not without some consequences to it. lol Not that they didn’t try their damndest, right? Nevertheless, as fun, as they have been, good times and bad, a paycheque is a paycheque. I don’t like the idea of jumping into something else, especially a work from home job where there is not the same sort of stability. But if there is any time to look into it, it is now. So I best get on it. The summer only lasts so long. If you hear of any good telecommute jobs out there let me know. Or any good job sites. I’m on the market.