It’s been said that patients who are able to talk about what they would do without their Headache or Migraine, tend to be less depressed and more hopeful. Some patients have lost the ability to dream about their lives without the present taking hold and destroying their ability to dream of something better. “What would you do if your dream of a pain and a completely symptom free life, came true?”
I am a little to realistic to fathom a completely pain free existence given I have comorbid pain conditions to consider. I can conceive of a day where the migraines are less frequent than they are though. Migraine disease is a fickle, unpredictable disease that way.
What if those migraines just stopped due to random chance? That would significantly reduce my pain load and increase my quality of life for sure. Also it would improve my vision because of the persistent migraine auras. My balance because of the migraine associated vertigo; I would be able to drive again which would improve my mobility. I would be able to return to work immediately and resume a career with no more financial instability. I would have more energy to be able to work and do other things in the Same day, wow, that would be special. I would still have to moderate my life style and live within the limitations of my other chronic illnesses but I will say I was coping quite well before the migraines became chronic and I think I still would do fine, even though, I have added a few more illnesses in there. I can just image how nice it would be to take a holiday without having to deal with the assault of migraines interrupting even that.
However, to be quite honest I would be very pleased to have a fifty percent reduction in migraine frequency. To have every other day a migraine free day would be very, very nice. To have a break in there to recover and recuperate from it all would be very, very nice. I think the brain and the spirit just needs a little pain break once in a while.
I actually cannot fathom to be utterly, and completely, pain free. I have had chronic pain since I was a kid. And it became a real constant thing for me to experience as I got older far before the migraines came along. I don’t know what it is like to not feel baseline pain in my body with that higher intensity somewhere in me, and now, a migraine as a bonus. I think… it feels like an absence. I think it would feel like I would not be Aware of my body all the time. But I can honestly only imagine what that would feel like. I will never experience it. But yes, migraines are very intense pain and I would certainly like them knocked off the list. It would be a profound relief to be honest.
Because of the comorbid chronic illnesses I have had before migraines certainly it is hard to image a symptom free life as well. I know that people get tired, fatigued and have aches just from life. And that I would be fine with. Maybe I would like the capacity to earn the fatigue and aches, instead of just Having them all the time. But that real heavy fatigue from chronic pain and medications … it would be nice to have the energy to do things. I mean just every day things. Even the sort of frenzied housework I remember from when I was younger. Where you would clean the house in a day. Love the sense of accomplishment with that. Good spring cleaning! No way in hell I could do that now. Or for many years now. Or just think of being without photophobia, which has been a constant of mine since I was young but far worse with the onset of migraines… imagine going outside in the peak sunshine of the day, feeling the heat on you, and Not wearing Sunglasses. Wow. Blows my mind.
There are a lot of major changes that being symptom free would accomplish. Like being able to drive with ease. Being able to work. Being able to go on vacation, without insane amounts of planning, and not have it interrupted by pain. But there are literally hundreds of mundane things that would change that added up would make a large impact on my day to day life. Not being constantly aware of my body. Not being constantly aware of a bathroom… just in case. Being able to walk around in the sun without wincing or seeing sparkles. Being able to do housework… whenever, and as much as you want, instead of tiny bits here and there. Being able to socialize when you want, without also the fear of canceling plans and being able to have a beer or two without the worry of a migraine. Going out to a movie or a concert without That triggering a migraine. I mean I could go on and on from minor to major. A life without symptoms? Damn it would be quite different in many many ways. And while I seem to have lost s sense of what it really ‘feels’ like to be in an average body, I am used to ignoring a great deal of the symptoms I have they have become so commonplace, but they do affect your perception or habits or life in different ways from the minor to the major. If all my symptoms were to disappear I would have to get someone to pinch me because I would think I was dead. I mean seriously.