Today at the shrink’s office he asked me if I have any close friends I talk to or hang out with. The answer being no. He asked me if I still talk to some of the people I worked with. The answer being no, but not because I don’t want to but because I just have not been up to it.
I have in my life had some pretty awesome friends. I am, however, very introverted. I do not mind me, myself, and I.
This makes it really easy to become a hermit. For a couple of easy reasons. People move short or long distances away and I have a hard time keeping in contact with them when that happens. I have a hard time commuting Anywhere for Any reason. Other times people have life changes that make them busier such as having children and they have less time to do things and so when they do, I would have to be available, but I am not always available. I am often health compromised. So often I drift apart from people who are busy and neither of us notices it too much.
And then there is the simple fact that pain just gets in the way of the desire to do things. Until you do not do much. Because when you are working that is your main priority in life and there is never any energy or pain tolerance left after that. Weekends are for recuperation. So you become a hermit without meaning to. Often people drift away. You do not get invited places anymore. Maybe a few work friends invite you out once in a while but that is about all the socialization you get… or can even handle.
So it comes about that you are not working and you look around and, no, you do not have peeps around you to do things with. Yes, it would be mentally healthy to do things. Things are good. Socializing is good. But all the peeps are gone.
In a way that does suck. But I am an introvert so in a way, I also do not mind my own mental space and self. I would like to socialize more. And I have made it a priority to get out more. Meet more peeps. Get out and about in small doses. It is a good thing. But you cannot just do it… because of course no people around are there. All gone with the wind ages ago. So it is a slow process.
He also mentioned going out and choosing to do activities where I could then socialize with people. Like a writers group… there is not one here. An art class, not sure about that, but doubtful there is one. Tai chi maybe… there is a short class of that during a weird part of the year. Anyway, this is to compensate for the lack of working, to fill space, to fill the lack of socializing you would do at work, the space in routine… that sort of deal. A good idea. I like it. If I can find something that is cheap and interesting to do around here.