I often think about how pain changes how we are, behave and act. I have written often about the pain facade where we mask our pain because that is how pain changes how I act and behave…. I hide it.
Well, that is not true, I hide in in certain situation by joking around and making people laugh so they cannot see the pain I feel. And when I cannot hide it I become very, very quiet. To the point my spouse will know I am either a)pissed off about something or b) in pain. lol. I also retreat because I need alone time to deal with the level of pain. I act befuddled because I have a hard time focusing on what is going on around me, outside of the pain, but yet I am trying to.
Yet I know for others there can be additional ways that how we act and behave changes. People can become more snappy and impatient. Or irritated easily. Or anger easily. They can lash out at small things. Snap at little things. Because they are in a lot of pain and all those things annoy them so much more than they normally would. That is not them, it is the pain.
For my being absolutely silent around those I care about is abnormal. When my giggle is silenced, that is abnormal.
There are just different ways that the pain can affect our behaviors, temperaments, moods and actions at the time. I understand how angler and irritation can be easily facets to that even though in my case it is now how it manifests in me.
It is frustrating that pain can do that, but at the same time we cannot treat every migraine so we have to endure the pain.