Being in pain vs seeing pain

‘Everyone will get used to it but me’ This is a fact. Pain is always new to us. It is a constant experience for us. A Live Experience. A Being-In-Pain experience.

There is only a certain degree of this experience we can divulge. For one, language does fail us in this. There is a depth to this experience that cannot simply be expressed. Levels to it. Factors to it. It would be less a statement and more an entire in-depth conversation. Secondly, we do not always express our pained experience. We know it is not something that people want to hear all the time. Nor do we want to share it all the time. And sometimes it makes us feel like we are complaining. It does come out when the pain is particularly There.

Others though, yes, it loses its originality. You cannot expect others to feel its ‘freshness’ like we do. So for them, it is not this constant experience. If you do not express your pain all the time and they do not see any pain behaviors from you, which most chronic pain people do Not express then it is not uncommon for them to say ‘You look good today, you must be doing better!’. It is not uncommon for them to think looking good must mean feeling good. Because they do not have that constant persistent experience suggesting otherwise. Nor do we constantly tell them otherwise.

Hey I feel like crap

Hey I feel like crap

Hey I feel like crap

Hey I feel like crap

Hey I Still feel like crap

They would get pretty damn tired of That quick. And yet, without it, apparently we are cured every once in a while.

“You getting those migraines again, eh?” *Sympathetic sound* “They are back?”

What the… where did they GO???? Yeah, I am getting those migraines STILL. Still. Always. Chronically.

And we can forgive these errors. We have to. Because we have the lived experience. The constant reminder of the pain present within us. For them…. it loses its originality. They don’t pay attention to it. They even tire of it. Or fail to see it. It fades from their minds.


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