You know it isn’t exciting and it isn’t good. I wasn’t ready to return. My doctor doesn’t think I can work at all. Let alone full-time. No, it isn’t Good, but it is what the insurance company demands.
I returned to work once again after my long-term leave. It is strange returning to work after a long-term leave. Skills stagnate and become rusty, as I learned quite quickly. Things I knew like the back of my hand are sluggishly returning to me. That in-itself is immensely frustrating to me. Having to work without to knowledge just being on hand and the immediate information at my finger-tips is difficult. Makes me slow and hesitant.
Like I suspected would happen my pain levels have risen. That is a pretty obvious outcome to returning to work. However, I have been able to moderately manage the pain with mindful meditation. Just not always successful depending on the level. It does seem I can slow the migraine down such that most of work is migraine free. All of after work is not. For now. It all compounds. As I well know. The pain. The lack of sleep. The pain. It just gets worse from here on in.
This is my first day off and it has been a low pain day. I managed the migraine very well indeed, as I have been learning. But also was in the nice dark house and didn’t have to go anywhere. These things count. So I am aware that working changes factors and not in a good way. I just hope I can compensate for the change the best that I can. Enough to make a difference. A manageable difference.
I will know more as time goes on because one vital part of this puzzle is sleep. If I start being unable to get enough sleep then the migraines will respond in a negative way. And all hell will break loose. But if I manage to sustain good levels of sleep with the methods I am using then I have a way to sustain this new coping strategy.
I do feel that I may need the botox I mentioned to the pain clinic though. Work is one of those factors that makes a large significant change to things. I want to be prepared for that impact. But that is not until later this year.
One thing I had not taken into account is the level of overall fatigue I have to combat every day. Pain is draining. Sucks so much out of a person. Not sure how it is even humanly possible with the pain and fatigue to exercise after work. I tried and it was too much for me. On my days off, yes, I can. But not on work days. Just too much. So not sure what I am going to do about my exercise routine. I don’t want to push my limits.