In the Land of Pain “Everyone will get used to it except me.”
To some extent, you get used to the baseline everyday pain as your new normal. Pain that would deeply concern a normal person is all ‘meh all in a days work’ pain for us. I find that for fibromyalgia anyway. The flare-ups though, well, those are a brutal, brutal different story… one where someone beat you with a stick while you were sleeping and every inch of you hurts like a sonofagun for no apparent reason. I walk grandma speed… not My grandma who walks faster than that but just a word I use to describe this slow shuffling pace I can manage, then have to rest, and then shuffle some more and deeply wish I had a scooter.
But with migraines like the one, I have right now, which is a 9er. I really can only think about how painful it is. Nothing much else is getting through my brain except how much my head freaking hurts. I am trying to distract myself. Trying not to clench my teeth, which happens when I am in a lot of pain. But really all I can think about is Pain, pain, pain. Pain sucks. When will this pain stop? How am I going to sleep with this pain? How is even possible I feel this pain in my Entire bloody head?
I think it is not even humanly possible to get used to a migraine because of the location of the pain and the type of the pain. It is intense, it is in your brain, it can spread to the whole head area which makes it fundamentally difficult to ignore. With foot pain, you can sit down and alleviate the pain a little, not walk as much, limp. In the head? You cannot remove the head. Every movement of the neck and you want to scream.
Fibromyalgia baseline pain is pretty easy for me to distract myself from. Very hard when there is a flare-up. And very hard when it is a flare up of skin nerve allydonia pain. But the baseline everyday pain… gotten used to that. Know I need to move, to switch positions often, to not stand for too long, or sit for too long.
A migraine is hard to think through. Hard to distract from. Hard to muddle through your life with. Hard to work with. Hard to sleep with. Hard to do every damn thing with. Best thing? Hide in a nice, cool dark room… we just can’t always do that. I suppose to a point that must mean we are ‘used’ to it a little. When I was episodic I didn’t leave the house, drive and go to work with a migraine. No freaking way! Now, because I must, I do. Very unpleasant and torture, but necessary.
I have my brother’s memorial service tomorrow and I don’t even know if I will be able to sleep tonight. It is just too painful and I have tried everything to get the pain level lower. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day and emotional… which itself will cause a migraine, so I would prefer not going into it with a brutal migraine because I could not get rid of this one. When it comes to stress though it seems we have little choice. When there is stress, there will be pain.