I read this post floating around Facebook on why people with chronic illnesses do not like to be told they look good and it made me wonder.
There is the obvious fact that when we ‘look good’ people have this weird assumption we ‘feel fine’ because people make absurd judgments on how we look vs how we feel. Idiotic when it comes to chronic illness. More idiotic when you think of the Wonders of make-up.
Secondly, there is just this strong contrast between how we feel vs how we may look. So ‘Hey you are looking awesome today’… weird, I feel like a sack of cow poo.
However, I think the only time this actually has ever bothered me was when I had lost weight and everyone was remarking on how good I looked and how much better I looked and how I must be feeling better. First, I Just lost weight… not designed a cure. Or I would also be a billionaire and not need to work. Second, like gaining the weight, I lost the weight due to a medication… so not due to anything I did and not the way you want to lose weight. People assumed I was doing all these awesome things that were healthy and instead I was forgetting what food was and what I was doing in the kitchen. Not to mention the nausea. Yeah, fun stuff. Finally, again this damned assumption that something like a little weight loss would be sufficient to make me feel internally healthier, just Not sick anymore… because, hey, I looked so much better. (Which does make me wonder how horribly fat I was? That I must have looked so horrible that now I was so awesome? Whatever.) So I must feel better? I must be cured. Must be right? That ticked me off. Assumptions like that are shallow and useless and I don’t comprehend why someone could logically make that leap. Oh, she lost some weight… therefore her brain must be affected by that so much so that it cured all her ills. Yep. Makes sense. I should comment on that.
Other than that though I am fine if people give me a general compliment about looking good. *preens* Why not? I am permitted to look good and be in pain. Look good and feel ill. I know there is no contradiction. I know I can even smile and be in pain. Shocker. So I take it for the compliment it is meant to be, as long as they don’t go further and take that to mean I am fine