Even working part-time I have seen a substantial rise in pain. And it is difficult. So I have to look at it logically and see if this is worth it. What exactly am I getting from this?
- Income: I am getting money and this is obviously an important factor. I have bills to pay and so forth. I am getting less than my former role and full-time, but less stress as well.
- Socialization: I am getting interaction with people at least three times a week. I am not one to ignore the importance of this. I feel like a shut-in too long at home by myself.
- Out of the house: I am getting out of the house three days of the week. When I was off, there were weeks when I never left the house at all.
- Productive: I feel productive. I feel like I am accomplishing something each day I work.
- Sleep cycle: I feel my sleep cycle is returning to somewhat regular-ish areas. Instead of going to bed at 4am and getting up whenever. I go to bed 1 to 2am and sleep 8 hours. Even on days off, I find I only sleep 9 hours. So no oversleeping. Of course, with insomnia, I am under sleeping. But a more regular, normalize sleep cycle is a good thing on the plus side.
What am I losing in this?
- Increased pain levels. The idea was one day on, one day off. But I am in high pain on work days, and that continues into my day off so I am laid out and useless on that day. So not exactly getting anything done on that day like housework or exercise. I am taking max amount of triptans to keep up. And the painkillers are barely dulling the pain.
- Erratic sleep: Since my brain rather does not like going to sleep early and getting up early, it tends to not sleep much at night on days I work. Maybe three hours. So I am sleep deprived and likely the cause of the brutal migraines. Not much I can do about it when my sleep cycle has never been able to adjust to this.
- Increased nausea: Increased migraine pain has jacked up the nausea to epic proportions that even anti-nausea meds cannot handle.
So there is more gain than there is loss. But that pain is a big one. However, it is important to note that part-time is significantly better than full-time. The role I am doing is significantly less stressful… so it requires less work, effort, and focus while in pain.
We all sort of have to do this cost vs benefit analysis with our jobs to see if it is working for us. To see if we need to adjust our hours, need flexible hours, should maybe work from home, have a career change or adapt in some other way if it is not working for us. Personally, I think I need to continue and see how my pain adapts to the roll. I might have to start taking my triptans at work which I hesitate to do now due to the fact they make me very tired and rather stupid.