Liver: Out damn spot

So next week will be my MRI to look at the spot on my liver to determine what the hell it is. Obviously, the big C of cancer comes up. My doc thinks it likely isn’t because of all the things that cause liver cancer are not in my history. However, I am chronically ill and I have been taking medications all my adult life so my liver can’t be that happy with me.

I think it very well might be cancer. And I am not fear thinking. I am symptom thinking. Okay, I am prepared thinking. Just in case thinking.

Panic

Here they are. As with most in the beginning stages, they are mild and basically hard to know you have a damn thing.

  • pain in the abdomen, which may move up through the right shoulder
  • a lump or mass under the ribs
  • nausea
  • vomiting
  • loss of appetite
  • feeling full after a small meal (called early satiety)
  • diarrhea
  • constipation
  • weight loss
  • swelling of the abdomen caused by a buildup of fluid (called malignant ascites)
  • swelling in the legs and feet caused by a buildup of fluid (called edema)
  • fatigue
  • weakness
  • a general sense of discomfort or illness (called malaise)
Read more: Here
But Coincidentally I have been losing weight for unknown reasons. Coincidentally I have been having extreme nausea, some vomiting, loss of appetite and this sensation of feeling full after just barely eating. I have been way more fatigued than usual.
Then obviously later symptoms are dark urine and jaundice. And I don’t have jaundice but I had a week of excessively dark urine.
My mass is about the size of a quarter. Maybe it is benign. But I have been tested for all my nausea and appetite issues and they found nothing. Nothing wrong there. And I am still losing weight. There is a high probability it is just migraine-related, as is most of that but it is pretty insane nausea.
So I think there is a chance I have cancer. I don’t like the stats for it. But I will not think about those stats and what it all means until I know. No use preparing and worrying and thinking about game plans until you hear the official words. This is just speculation based on what my body is telling me. It is telling me something and it could be that.

My spouse had kidney cancer. They caught it by accident when doing an MRI on his stomach to review how his gastroparesis was doing. And he was Lucky because they caught him stage 1. He just needed surgery. I found that to be so lucky. Like fate lucky. Mine was discovered when they were doing an ultrasound on my stomach to see if I had ulcers due to my appetite and weight-loss issues. So maybe if I have liver cancer they found it early as well. My mom’s cancer was found on her regular monogram in the early stages but it had gone a little into the lymphatic system. She needed the radiation, surgery and the chemotherapy.

Not know is not fun. You think and think and wonder and run scenarios. I am a worrier by nature. So I put it off to the side and decided not to think about it until it was almost time. Now it is next week and I wonder again. I fear. And I hope I am wrong and my doctor is right. Health scares are unusual to me. It is always I am diagnosed with chronic this and chronic that.

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