On my blog I will say I am in a crapton of pain. To my family, sometimes, I will mention it as well… if it is in that high range that is getting to me. But I lie a lot to others and to family.
I lie because… I don’t need to validate my pain to everyone I meet.
I lie because… I don’t always feel like talking about my pain, I feel like surviving it and coping with it.
I lie because… I don’t feel like getting false sympathy.
I lie because… I don’t feel like getting ‘advice’.
I lie because… I know most people do not really want to know how I feel and are just being polite.
I lie because… no one benefits from the explanation of my pain and I just want to get through it. Sometimes the facade I use gets me through the day better if I just pretend.
I lie because… explanations tire me. I get tired of constantly explaining to people what I migraine really is like and how it is really affecting me.
I lie because… I don’t want my loved ones to know how bad it really is.
I lie because… it isn’t anyone’s business but mine, unless I choose to tell them. It is my prerogative to keep it to myself.
It has a lot to do with functioning in society with people I don’t know, acquaintances and co-workers. I don’t owe anything to any of these people. I tend to hide the pain with my stoic pain facade. Or when at work with my super customer service facade. And I want to get through the day with pain alive. It is only friends and family that we really need to connect with communication wise. The rest of them it is on a as need basis. Or if the pain is too high to hide. It is just as simple as that. So we lie by omission. We do not tell people how we really feel. And if we did, they would think we were chronic complainers. Or saying too much information. Or fake sympathy. It does no one any good to know really.
It does create a sense of isolation working in a lot of pain, faking your way through the day masking the pain as best as you can struggling to function… when no one notices and/or cares. And we wonder why no one cares about the suffering we have to endure. Few people, if any notice. The few that do, wouldn’t know what to do about it regardless.