leave from work work

Between hope and hell

the-world-is-your-oyster

Stuck between hope and hell. I am in hell right now. I can’t work. I can’t function. Daily migraines, fibromyalgia and depression. It is depressing and frustrating. It fills with me with anxiety because I don’t know if the insurance company will comprehend my situation enough to support my appeal for long term disability. Which I need due to not being able to work. But I Hope for my botox trial which will take 9 months to work and actually improve my pain in Some way. I hope that new migraine med coming on the market next year comes out in Canada at the same time because I hear it is so promising. Because I Hope for some pain relief and some return to some functionality.

Yes, I cannot work in any outside of the house job full-time or part-time. But I Hope to find a niche online where I can work from home. It may require schooling or training or I may find something I am qualified to do. But I hope to do that in the future because it appears to be the only work option available to me that will work in any way.

No one wants disability long term but we need it sometimes in the short term while waiting for treatments to help us hopefully function better. I am in such a bad spot with everything right now and of course I can’t function outside of the house. Not with the pain the way that it is. When you try to push through pain, it simply pushes back in the worst way possible and you just end up missing work as a result. Finding viable treatments though is the first step… waiting for them, then waiting for them to work that is what takes time. Then you are still left with chronic migraines, so you still need to find viable work options, which is why working from home is what I need to seek out.

It is always hope and hell. Hope is what keeps us setting goals, trying new treatments and persisting and striving. Hell is where we Live. We need to think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Or make a light there. So we can strive for something. So while I need to get on disability I hope to get treatment and find a remote job. What I Need though is to manage this pain. I need that bad.

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