I did, in fact, do some exercise in the technical sense of the word.
I got on an Exercise bike and I moved my legs on it so, in fact, I did exercise.
It caused tremendous and immediate pain on a level that is pretty indescribable except to say that it just got worse and worse and worse.
I tolerated 2 minutes of that torture.
Yes. Two minutes.
I know that sounds super lame and pathetic. And it is. But I have not been exercising for some time so I have to start at zero and zero means basically this horrible start point of epic pain from the get-go.
It basically goes like this. Exercise is very, very painful. It always is painful. It never stops being painful. I do not understand these endorphins people talk about but I would sure like some of that business. In the beginning, it is extremely excruciating for just a wee amount of time. Then you can add a little more. Like a minute. Then a minute more. Until you get up to 10 minutes consistently of this really intense pain, but no longer this extreme muscle exhaustion that makes you incapable of doing more than your, say, 2 minutes of excruciating pain. Then, you get to Past this 10-minute mark to this less painful zone I like to call muscle numbness, where the pain gets less intense for some strange reason. This once you have worked up to this point, likely another month or so of effort, lasts for another ten minutes. Then you hit another level of excruciating pain that is extremely sharp and jabbing and also like before… gets worse and worse and worse. And then you know, you must stop. That is alarm pain. So 20 minutes of very painful exercise. Takes you a good 6 months to Work Up to 20 minutes. And that was my max. I never did get beyond it. We will see if I can.
So in a nutshell that is that. Not fun. Not boring. Not a chore. Very painful. I exercise downstairs and after I have to use my arms to help crawl up the stairs. That sort of fun. After two bloody minutes. Actually after whatever minutes… the pain and muscle exhaustion just makes it very difficult to handle stairs.
And it counts. Because it is my start point. Every two days and two minutes will gradually become more and more.
Why the insanity? No freaking idea. Apparently, it does something.