Humor Uncategorized

The gift that keeps on giving (and I didn’t order)

The gift that keeps on giving.png

So this was the sales pitch of the chronic illness package I got called ‘The gift that keeps on giving’ that I definitely didn’t order. Always read the fine print I guess.

Get yours now!
Free to get but costly to own!


96% of your chronic illness packages are invisible. No one will know you have one! Even if you flat out say ‘I have the chronic illness Fibromyalgia’ they could easily respond, ‘No way, you don’t look sick at all.’

By the way, if you get Fibromyalgia right now it is possible we could put in IBS for Free! Bonus of Fatigue, already included. Package comes with: muscle pain, cognitive dysfunction, sleep dysfunction, and a randomly selected assortment of symptoms.

While most packages do come with the Bonus of Fatigue is should not be confused with the Chronic Fatigue Package (Also see M.E.) that has significantly more Fatigue. Totally different items altogether. This CFS package comes, instead, with a Bonus of Pain.

Both packages will vary in the intensity of bonuses. Bonus of Fatigue or Bonus of Pain can, in fact, be disabling in themselves. We are in no way responsible for the intensity of bonuses.

Assortment of symptoms are randomly selected and you cannot choose them.

We have quite a few chronic pain packages and to be honest when you have 1 people tend to have 2 or even 3. They are That popular.

Our chronic illness packages overall are quite popular. Often you get more than one. Sometimes 5!

And you Never need a New one because they all last forever!

Remember, these popular for all ages, not just the elderly.

They are absolutely 100% guaranteed to affect your career adversely, with either income loss, income stability or complete job loss entirely. This isn’t an option. It is a guarantee.

Some packages go together frequently. Chronic pain packages often can exist with the depression and/or anxiety package. Sorry, but sometimes these package additions just get added on.

***All packages are Nonrefundable, may cause isolation, increased stress, a noticeable amount of stigma seen in others, work complications, decrease in socialization, decrease in friends, and troubles with overall functioning and coping.***

Also, packages are the gift that keeps on giving, are free to get but not to have, you don’t get to pick your package, or packages, I should say, or when, at all… and if you don’t like your assigned package you are stuck with it. And we will add comorbid packages; you cannot cancel this subscription.



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