I’m at a point where I am unable to fathom what to do with my insurance company. Clearly, I am chronically ill. Clearly, I was on long term for it. I returned to work and it didn’t work. I went down to part time, it didn’t work. My doctor and psychologist wanted me back on long term. My insurance company wouldn’t go for that and said it had to be short term… and apparently, despite to fact I was literally just on long term for the exact same thing denies there is evidence for it.
My doctor and psychologist essentially put it this way. I cannot work outside of the house. And I should try to find a work from home position. So the idea was go on leave from my current position and use that income until I found a replacement, which is a little diffiucult to find in Canada… easier in the States. However, what I have done instead is go into a lot of debt and borrowed a lot of money because my insurance company will Not cover me… due to lack of ‘evidence’.
I am applying for cpp disability to compensate. They allow you to work some on it if I only find a little work. Or if I cannot find something right away. Problem is that is not something people generally get right away. Often like in the US with government disability they tend to decline off the get-go because they can and then lawyers have to be involved and it is a big freaking thing.
Obviously, getting an online job would be perfect for me right now. Clearly, that is what I am looking for. And I have been applying for them.
However, lack of money being what it is I told my doctor I will soon return to work. To which she said ‘I do not recommend that.’ Well, neither do I. But my bills certainly do. This whole leave of absence without coverage is not cool. It is stressful. It is depressing. And without my depression medication… it would have been a significant problem, let’s just put it that way. Thank goodness I am effectively being treated for depression. Otherwise, I would have sent my suicide letter care of my insurance company. That literally isn’t a joke. I was devastated at the last decline. Just not deep pit of despair devastated. More like ‘How can I accomplish this? When I am not capable of functioning in work outside of the home and cannot ‘prove’ I can’t and somehow I am supposed to survive’ sort of anxiety and normal situational depression. I was keenly aware at that very point how I would have normally reacted without the Abilify. And very thankful for it. Still, doesn’t resolve the situation when there are literally no options. And literally no options makes a person normally depressed. Which is why I am doing to CPP application. A last ditch desperate act to stave off panic, but in the end I know I NEED INCOME. Therefore, either I find an online job STAT or I return to work by the end of this month or the middle of next month.
It is ironic that the insurance company is pulling that ploy to not pay to get rid of someone when if they paid it wouldn’t have been for long. Just until I find online work. Not forever. My doc was thinking until September. I am hoping, NOW, I find something immediately even though there are slim pickings of things I can do on the Canadian sites. I am applying for every one that I can conceivably do. And also some local part-time jobs out of the house because they are local, so less drive time, therefore no vertigo induced by the drive. Also jobs that are easier so low stress. Looking at every single option I have.
And no bloody income coming in to help me out. My insurance company know I have chronic migraines, they know I have Major depressive Disorder (now treated) and they know I have fibromaygia. They Simply Do Not Care.
That is (A company that is sunny and full of life) for you. Thinking the more you fight them the more money you lose on just trying to live. You have nothing to fight them with. People have told me I should sue if I had the money because I have a case, clearly. But those cases can go on years. They deserve it, certainly.
Well, they crushed me. I cannot think of whether to keep trying with ‘random’ ‘evidence’ they seem to need but never explain what it actually is they need. Knowing no amount of research will be enough because they simply want to be rid of me. They don’t want to pay. I could literally cut out one of the lesions of my brain and send that sample in and it would be sufficient.
Or going back to work against doctors orders, against my psychologist’s orders. And having the exact same problems working with pain there and productivity. Knowing the whole time this is the wrong choice but being forced into it by our incompetent insurance company.
Or I get lucky and find a job online and ditch that whole situation and complain to the Ombudsman at my treatment so they understand doing that to a person is straight up wrong.