lost days.jpg

Today was a lost day. Days consumed by pain where functionality is lost and nothing gets done. Just a wasted day it seems to me. And I often wonder how many days get lost to the pain. Better not to ever have that question answered really.

It is our days of self-care.

But today I sort of just melted into the couch. Even now the pain has such an edge to it I really don’t feel too intent on even distracting myself. Feel more like curling up into a ball sounds like a fine plan of action.

So fine. Maybe I should curl up into a ball. Put some ice on my head. Get some aromatherapy for my nausea going. Just relax into something that requires no brain effort at all, like watching some Netflix. With my Axon migraine specs on because I am having some serious light issues right now.

I have been tracking my everyday progress because my psychologist wants me to. It is a way to show what you accomplish each day, track your exercise and set some sort of goal for the next day as well as my gratitude journal. It actually makes you feel like you do accomplish at lease Something every day. And makes you think of some sort of Goal for the next day. So I like doing it. So today was null and void. It happens. It in no Way diminishes my other days. I exercised a Whole 23 Minutes yesterday. And I felt like that was pretty massive for me. Not being able to exercise at all today doesn’t mean it wasn’t a major achievement for me. I got out of the house yesterday and ran an errand, again, this is pretty good considering how I have been doing. I promised I would get out more. I am trying to do so. Checked that box off yesterday. Just because I couldn’t do anything today, at all, shouldn’t make me feel bad, or guilty, or unless or worthless. It is just a bad day. We will have bad days. Non-functional and intolerable pain days. Just refuse to allow yourself to be guilty about them.

And try to do some self-care to manage and cope with it.

Like I will do now. Since I was so mindlessly out of it today from the pain I just wasn’t on the ball with the self-care.

Maybe do some meditation tonight. Here is my mantra.

Breathe in the good shitthatmakesmyday.png


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