I don't need approval for my chronic pain

I am in pain.

I don’t need to validate that pain to anyone.

I cope with chronic illness and pain in many ways.

I don’t need anyone’s approval of my methods.

All I need to do is live the best chronic illness life that I can.

I don't need to validate my pain

I don’t want to fear life for fear of the pain. The pain will always be there. I want to cope with the pain the best that I can so that I can have the best life that I can. And that involves several strategies and some acceptance of the pain itself and chronic pain management.

I have a life to live. I want to live it. Carefully. Moderately. Pacing. Doing the work I need to do. Getting the treatment I need to get.

Maybe I should…

Why don’t I…


I am on a path. I am trying the strategies that I want to try right now. If they fail I will move to the next strategy and the next and the next. I find what works, and I keep it. I find what does not, and I discard it. Every single one of us is different. We often do not need the random health advice from a perfectly healthy person. Not that I will not listen because I will. I will listen and see if it is something I know or do not and hold that information for later. But that information never gives one the right to dictate that I must do such and such ‘or I don’t want to be well’ or ‘I don’t want to cure myself’. I must do nothing. You have no right to dictate anything. And I want to be as well as possible… there isn’t a cure.

You can’t be in pain because…

You were fine yesterday…

My pain is mine alone. You have no right to dictate how I should or should not behave with it. That I cannot laugh. That I cannot enjoy myself. That I cannot have good days. That I must be in abject misery forever. Well, you are wrong. Simple as that. And my pain is my own, not yours to comment on. To doubt. To judge. I have to cope with it. Live with it. Endure it. How I do so, is my choice. My good days, are mine. Pain variability is a simple fact. Good days. Bad days. It is a mix.

You see a fraction of my chronic pain

Maybe you, that judgmental random stranger, will have to accept people with chronic illnesses and chronic pain have complex treatments. Pain you would beg for mercy for it to end if you had it. So, no, we are not lazy twiddling our thumbs all day doing nothing. We are doing all the things we need to do to manage the pain so we can do things like work and socialize and have some semblance of a life again. We will take what we can get when we can get it.

Other chronic illness posts:

Let it be

When we ignore symptoms

Chronic illness: Asking for help

6 thoughts on “I don’t need approval for my pain

  1. This is such an empowering post, and something I really needed to read today. It can be so hard to ignore the perceived judgements and opinions of others, whether they’re voiced or not, and to feel strong enough in yourself to life your life without apology, but it’s so, so important. Thank you for sharing.x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So beautifully said. thank you for posting this. i have learned in the past 16 months that NO ONE knows what is going on within us and that people are judgmental. i hope to change that behavior in those whose lives i touch. We need more people with a beautiful voice as yours. thanks again


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