Please share what and/or who helps you never give up.

stage of illness migraine

This is indeed a tricky one because I have in the past given up. Lack of progress in treatment, lack of control for the pain, lack of coping with that pain and depression sort of combine into a massive hopeless bundle of giving up.

I think we all have an innate perseverance though. So you give up, then gather yourself together and get back at it. Just for a while I was in a major slump due to pain levels. Hard to see anything ever changing then. But I wanted it to. So I never stopped trying to change things.

Quite simply it is Desire that keeps me from not wanting to give up. Desire for a better quality of life. Desire for a Life, when the pain was too severe to even have much of that. It is all about what can I do to improve the pain and what can I do to better manage the pain I cannot get rid of.

I always want more than I can conceivably have with chronic pain. So I have to temper that desire with realistic goals. Not running any marathons anytime soon, you know what I mean?

There are people in my life that help me with this. Help me Not get too hopeless or focus on solutions and not problems. My psychologist for one. My mother, certainly, is the most important voice in life and helps me when I need it most. And I don’t want my spouse to be a hermit so for him I try to live a life with pain.

I try not to let myself give up for as long lately. So it is a BAD DAY… well then deal with that bad day with the appropriate self-care but I don’t let my mind swing into ‘This is the horror of my existence and always will be.’ Or dwell on the pain too much and let those pain thoughts get all out of control. It saps motivation. It leads to hopelessness. My brain is Great at thinking them, so I have learned to distract myself from them. To just turn my thoughts away from them. Focus on managing the pain in the Moment. Very goal orientated. Who knows what the next day will bring? Maybe a good pain day. Maybe a shorter duration of a bad peak pain time.

Anyway, I find ruminating on the pain wasn’t such a good idea for me and I really have to manage that. Because when you think about pain in the Long spectrum of when it began, how it feels in the present on a bad day and the thought of all the future days of it… yeah, that does in fact really, really suck. Sucks just writing it out. Sucks living it. But we don’t live it all at once. We live it day by day with pain variation in there. Like that song ‘Sunshine and rain. Joy and pain.’ Life has it all mixed in there. I can get pretty hopeless when I dwell on the Suck Factor alone. Because it does seem hopeless. The pain Will never end. Got it. Chronic pain is chronic. And nothing I will do will change that. Even if the migraines magically went episodic, which given the best response rates even possible for medications is impossible… but lets just say my body just zaps into gear, I still have chronic pain from other conditions. So, yeah, that is a lot of suck a person can dwell on. Or you accept there is going to pain and find the best ways to live with that pain, and hopefully treatments to best reduce it and increase quality of life. Trust me when I say there will be days when I do dwell on the Suck Factor, I just don’t do it as often because, in my special brain, it does encourage hopelessness and that isn’t a fun feeling to have.

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