When you are in a high pain zone for any period of time the pain will lie to you. Tell you things that you will believe because you are in so much pain. They are lies. Pain lies.
The 7 lies of chronic pain
You are a waste of space:
It will tell you, you are a burden to your loved ones. That you are functionally useless to society. That you are capable of nothing and therefore, useless.
But it isn’t true. Your family would disagree that you are a burden to them. They love you. And this ‘functionally useless to society’ has a lot to do with when we are incapable of working or incapable of doing the career we had. We feel like we are now useless to our families financially. And it takes something from our identity and self-worth. But we are worth so much more than what we do for a living. We have more use to society than our career or working. We are loved for more than that. We are complex people with many things that make us valuable and interesting. We simply have to find ways to fill the void in our lives so that We feel we have value.
There is no hope. This pain is endless.
There is always hope. I think of this with the new CGRP treatments for migraines, that is a new hope that was never there a decade ago. What new things could we see for Fibromyalgia or Lupus or other conditions in time? We simply do not know.
You are weak.
It only feels like weakness because we struggle. But really we are strong to deal with what we deal with and still manage to live our lives. It is not something others have to deal with.
Treatment always fails. You should give up.
Sometimes it seems nothing will ever work. But we shouldn’t give up. When we are exhausted by this we can take a break from treatments for a bit until we get that drive to push on again. I have done this before and it works well. Just give yourself time to get out of that funk and get the drive to find progress again. Because treatments do not always fail and to find them we must try them.
You are worthless. You can do any of the same things anymore.
It is true you can’t do the same things anymore. You can do different things and different way. It is a different life. Not the one you had. Not the one you Could have had. This life. And it doesn’t make you worthless to be in chronic pain and have limitations.
People don’t get how much pain you are in. You are alone.
People do not truly get it until they ‘get it’ that is true. But you are never alone. There are support groups of people who truly to get it. There is your family who may not comprehend the pain but hate to see you suffer and love you, want the best for you and will fight it with you. There are friends who may not know what to say all the time but will be there for you, the good friends. You are not alone with a support network. That support can be from one awesome person if need be.
You should give up. The pain is too much to handle forever. Just end it.
Suicidal ideation is common in chronic pain. Intent though is something that when it happens when you feel Intent, you call 911 immediately because you are in danger. The pain tells us this in high pain when we are Most Vulnerable to it. But it lies because the pain isn’t that intense all the time. It is variable. We have bad days, yes. But we have good pain days in there was well. We can be at high risk in high pain, especially when it persists. Be cognizant of this and call the hotline if you need it.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or you can Text ‘START’ to 741741 in the U.S. Click here for Canadian list.
A lot of these chronic illness lies get to me on bad days. Certainly more so with untreated Major Depressive Disorder. But the pain can just lie to us. And it isn’t like it is easy to stop thinking these things either. It is immensely hard. And there are times I wonder if I will ever truly accept who I am with pain. But then other days acceptance is easier.