chronic illness Uncategorized

Symptoms and their randomness

zelda(1)

 

Today and yesterday I was wearing a heart Holter monitor. It is a portable EKG thing to measure heart activity for a certain duration. Mine was 24 hours. They stick 5 tabs to the chest with tape and you carry around a little device which stores your heart beat pattern which later they go through.

So the day Before. My heart was flipping all over the place. Like nuts.

The day Of. Nada. It was perfect. It did nothing unusual At All.

As soon as I took it off and went back to work. Dizzy spell and then chest pains on the way home. Ironic. As soon as you put that thing on my heart behaves itself. Like it knows it is being watched. As soon as you take it off it is like ‘Whoo hoo party!’

So randomness. Not caught on said Holter monitor. Yay.

But the heart issues are a random symptom of my chronic ill health that are just hard to explain as is. Likely not my heart. Maybe my low blood pressure. Maybe just a symptom of my hypothyroidism that isn’t quite being resolved by medication, because without thyroid medication your heart is real wonky for sure. Maybe POTs that my doc was going to look into. Maybe fibromyalgia which I had read has heart variability and certainly has things like palpitations, which is why I never much worried about those. It is such an anonymous symptom for chronic illness. Things are going array in different areas and maybe that makes the heart go off kilter a bit. Which then makes another random symptom.

And then you end up with 801 random little symptoms. They are This. Or they are That. And should you worry? Or not? Or mention them? Or not? Or see if they just go away?

Then they add up. And you think, well, maybe I should mention some of these random things to my doctor. So you do and end up with several random tests to rule out who knows what. Which is Good, but it always ends up to find nothing because the random symptom is caused by the fibromyalgia, or migraines or hypothyroidism or whatever you happen to have. So the next time you debate it again with the next cluster of random symptoms. Are they important? Really? Or not. And then you wait forever to mention them again.

The look my doctor gives me when she asks how long I have had that symptom and my response is anywhere from 2 years to 6 months… well it is a look of chiding disapproval. Which makes me think perhaps I wait just a wee tad too long to mention some things.

They are important I suppose in the scheme of things. But when you are chronically ill you have so many symptoms you deal with all the time the little things don’t seem to matter so much. At least when it comes to the doctor, when you are bringing up Priority concerns such that those small things never make it in.

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