chronic pain Uncategorized

I’m the pain

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There is something about acute pain that lasts for days.

I went to the ER today to help with this now status migraine. It didn’t help. I only went because when you are in that level of pain you think:

How do I end the pain?

I can’t end the pain.

How then?

Can’t.

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There is a level of franticness in it. The same sort of franticness that has me writing instead of thinking. Thinking… never a good thing in high levels of pain. That is what the poem is about, that damn thinking while in too much pain to handle. So I write. Even poetry. And it is the desperation that leads on to the ER because surely, someone, anyone can help… please?

But rarely does that help. Maybe a little. Maybe for a short time. But rarely well or long. Today not at all. I could go back… but the point? I think what they gave me made it worse, so there is that.

It isn’t fair, is it? To have this battle.

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It isn’t easy. One of the things I think, at this particular moment of thought, is the least comprehended about chronic pain. That our bad days, are so very severe. That we, even we, can have pain well beyond our tolerance level. But we don’t have much we can do about it.

I’d cry. Sure I would. But that makes the pain worse. So don’t mind my stoic face, there is thunder inside.

So breathe. Breathe through the pain. It will pass. It always does. Into lesser more manageable pain.

 

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8 comments

    1. Ues I have to ice again. I hope it does something more this time. I am not alone. Something I remind myself of sometimes. So many of us struggling with the same challenges and ordeals.

      Like

  1. I have a small lavender pack that can be put in the fridge or freezer and then laid across your forehead, it is very soothing. I don’t have migraines but I do have tension headaches and tight head muscles from my back injury. I have poor sleep patterns, but lavender oil helps. I hope you find some relief soon 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So sad for you, sweetie. Unfortunately it’s only emotional pain that can be reduced by sharing it. My wish for all who suffer is a treatment plan that actually works and doesn’t cause side effects that are worse than the original ailment.
    Hoping for miracles.

    Liked by 1 person

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