Humor Uncategorized

Ways not to respond to someone’s chronic illness

When I am unwell I...(1)

  1. My friend’s cousin’s sister had that and she took Avocado milk with gently fried spam for two years and was cured! You have to milk the Avocados’ by hand though. Might have been goat milk? Try both. Oh my god! You found a cure for me on an internets Facebooks meme_ I shall try it immediately because all my woes are over..jpg
  2. Have you tried the new starvation diet? You get to eat all the pickles you want and once a week you can lick a steak. I highly recommend it. Because I think if you lose weight it might cure you of everything that is wrong with you.
  3. It is caused by stress you know. Everything from a bad aura to broken toes is caused by stress. We are too stressed in this world. Have you tried sweaty yoga yet? It is like hot yoga but much more sweaty. Great for stress and dehydration.
  4. My doctor once thought I had that but it turns out it was toe fungus. Weird right? But I can totally relate.
  5. I can totally relate because I had this temporary pain last week that lasted half an hour when I hit my head on the cupboard. And I feel this is exactly like what a migraine feels like. Tylenol helped so much, you should try it. Extended release.Take 2 Tylenol for a migraine_ You must be joking right_ right_ Or do you mean some sort of mutated uber-ultra-super-extra- strength_
  6. You’re way too young to be ill! Wait until you’re my age then you’ll really feel like crap. Just yesterday I forgot where I left my keys. My keys!You have a chronic illness_ But you are so young....jpg
  7. Oh I have something way worse than that. It is call hypogenavitisfugalitisnitus syndrome disease. So I win.
  8. But you don’t look sick! Why I can tell sick people by the intense glint in their eyes that suggests a profound wisdom none of us has. You just look like you have indigestion. Clearly you must be faking.
  9. I know you think your sick but maybe if you didn’t think that you wouldn’t be. Like maybe you just need to think really positive about it and it would just poof out of existence. Why just yesterday I thought I need me a million bucks and I won the lottery!
  10. I really think if you stopped all your medication you would feel better. I mean asthma inhaler? What is that all about? Breathing is so overrated.
Advertisements

8 comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s