chronic illness

When functionality suffers

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Chronic illness has an ebb and flow. There are times we function well and times we do not function well at all. Symptoms worsen and we struggle to function. It throws our coping out. It throws our life out of balance. It affects quality of life. And in general it sucks.

This is the case for me right now. I cannot sit up or stand for long without needing rest. At times needing to lie down for extended periods of time due to the dizziness and light-headedness. A lot of down time, in other words. And low functionality pretty much all the time. Weak when I am standing and sitting. Lightheaded. Dizzy. Disequilibrium and vertigo. I can’t seem to get much done at all. And then I need to rest when it gets too severe.

This is Low Functionality. Lower than I have had in some time. With pain I used to do this thing where even in higher pain I would do ten minutes of light housework to feel productive… feel like I accomplished something. I can’t even seem to manage that.

So what to Do.

I can’t feel guilty about it because there is no choice in the matter. I can’t even try, it just gets worse and worse as the days goes on and I have no control over it.

So I have to do what is right for my body. When it gets bad… I have to rest. I have to lay down for a good half hour to forty minutes.

Sometimes we have no choices but to listen to what our Body needs First. And then we can work on self-care mentally and emotionally. Like, yes, I would love to read and relax, but I am so out of it like that I can’t read. I have to just zone out watching TV because that is the only option. Makes me sad, but it is what I have to do to get though this right now. I can go on the computer… until it gets bad, then I have to lie down. But I can still mess around on my phone. Mostly scrolling, because my head is all out of it for a bit.

So when functionality is really low, it seems to me, the bodies needs come first and foremost. Rule of thumb, we always want to listen to our bodies needs. Rest when we need to. Take a nap if we need to. Go to bed early if we need to. Eat regularly. Manage nausea. Manage sleep.

I have a dinner to go to tomorrow. I wonder how it will go. Being upright for that long. We shall see. I know my spouse really wants to go. I will try and see how bad the symptoms get. We might have to leave early.

I admit I am getting a bit bored of this inactivity. And sore… FM doesn’t like all this lying down I have to do. I’ll be glad when the low functionality returns to my normal functionality.

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