Migraine matters: some really, real questions I can answer.

Migrainematters- some really, real questions I can answer.png

I heard if you cut your hair you can help your migraine, is this true?

Good question. I do in fact have hair that weights about 2 tons. Which causes a lot of internal structural pressure in the brain. Perhaps internal damage. I am not sure. I generally recommend, for safety sake, no women have long hair just in case. I mean, if it causes that sort of harm… we All should just have no hair at all, I say with my long glorious locks of hair.

I heard drinking a lot of water helps with migraine, is that true?

Good question. Dehydration is bad. So drink water. Migraines cause frequent urination. So drink more water. Which causes more urination. If you need me, I’ll just be in the bathroom.

I heard if you place a banana peel on your forehead this will help with a migraine, is this true?

This is not a good question. What the actual hell. Stop looking to Facebook for remedies for migraines. But, I mean, if you have a migraine and want to try this I’m not going to stop you… just saying I’d rather take a triptan.

What triggers a migraine?

Good question. The weather. Hormones. Lack of sleep. Thinking. Not-thinking. Moving. Sleeping. Breathing. Existentialism. Existence.

Can you work with migraine?

Good question. Working with migraines is like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire, and you’re on fire, and everything is on fire, and you’re in hell. And you get to do that the next day. And the next. And you have to smile while you are on fire.

How do you treat migraine nausea and vomiting?

Good question. First you take an anti-nausea med like Zofran. When that doesn’t work you have some peppermint tea. When that doesn’t work you throw up the peppermint tea and have a Gravol. When that doesn’t work you eat some ginger. When that doesn’t work you decide to just have a non-eating day. Then you get hungry, eat, and immediately regret that choice. And have more zofran. In other words have fun with That!

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