So I was reading a post from a friend and it hit me. I’d be so much cooler if I didn’t have the chronic illnesses I have.
I am cool. I am awesome. And my specs and hats due to photophobia do have an inherent cool factor. But certain things I have wanted since I was a wee kid are out of the realm of possibility for me now. And I am fine with that. But my cool factor is down, man.
I cannot get a tattoo
This is something I have Always wanted. Always. I even had my first one planned out in my brain. But you see, when I was younger, I had a major issue with small wounds becoming hypertrophic scars. Skin doctor even said they were keloids. But how they have diminished makes me suspect it was more likely to be hypertophic scaring. Basically… my body didn’t stop making scar tissue. So it would be that raised, ugly, obvious scar. I had four that I remember. They are gone now. But if you ever had hypertrophic scars or keloids you can have them happen again. At any time. For any wound. And tattooing is basically a wound to the skin at first. And I looked at the research. You cannot have a tattoo if you are prone to that scarring. Or you might end up with a massive upraised scar, instead of a tattoo. This made me pretty sad. I am into tattoo art.
I can’t drive a motorbike
Okay, granted I can’t drive at all with the vertigo right now, of course I can’t have a motorbike. But that aside, I still can’t. Since over a decade of migraines I had this particular thing happen about ten years ago. I can’t tell right from left. I point right, and say left, but I Mean right. I always point the right way. But I say it wrong. And I feel this right, left thing, would cause some confusion on which way to lean when driving. And wipe out. And also the vertigo. But, man, I wanted one when I was younger.
I can’t go to concerts
The light shows. The crowd. The noise. All too much for my migraine brain. There are so many concerts I have missed that I would have loved to go to. Earplugs are an option for the sound. But those hurt my ears. But say I did, doesn’t change the light. It is all too stimulating for my brain. I have gone to Canada Day concerts in open spaces, a music festival with open space, and one small venue concert. But that is because those are not the same as a concert in a stadium. So the music I would love to see, can’t.
I don’t wear make-up
I don’t know if this is ‘cool’ but I can say I am impressed by flawless makeup. But due to fibromyalgia I am very sensitive. I am allergic to most products. And when I finally found one that works for me…. well I have no skill in it. It wasn’t something I learned, because of the allergies when I was younger. I use moisturizer, a coffee face scrub and a moisturize mask cream. And that is all I do. My whole face routine. But it would be cool to have that skill. I can’t stand it on my face though. And still react to it at times.
I am limited with vacations
I would love to check out the Mayan ruins in Mexico. But Mexico is bright. And not migraine friendly. And I can’t walk long distances due to the Fibro, so walking out to these ruins? Too much pain. Flying also gives me vertigo for about three to four says after I land. Can’t explore anything like that. But people who travel to exotic places… that is cool. And the sort of fun I would love if I could. But I have to be very mellow on vacations. And I have to choose the place wisely. And limited in what I can do. Also, being poor due to illness? Have no idea how one affords trips.
I can’ go hiking
I always wanted to be that person that could explore those hard trails to really scenic things. I enjoy nature a lot. But I can’t walk far with the fibro. I do the touristy stuff and that alone flares me for a week. People who can? I think pretty cool. And they get to see some cool things.
I can’t enjoy amusement park rides
Even though I love the excitement of them. Because the vertigo goes nutbars and lasts for a long period of time after. So I am pretty sick from doing that. And I haven’t been on a amusement park ride since my early twenties.
If I could do all of these I think my cool factor would go up substantially.
I’m good with it all. I just can’t do those things. There are things I can do. And love to do. Those are my things now. But, just saying, man, I’d be super cool with all of these.
And things that likely lower my existing cool factor are:
- Being a walking pharmacy. Have a cold? *whips something out of my magic purse of medication*
- Always too tired to have fun. Have to drive to get to event? Makes me tired just thinking of that part.
- Having a little too much medical disease knowledge, medication knowledge, And supplement knowledge. And telling people all about the supplement they are taking. Or a treatment I heard about their disease. Not cool. Being an informed patient though… that is cool
- Always catching every flu and cold. Not cool.