Day 14 of migraine awareness challenge
People with Migraine or other headache disorders often feel isolated and misunderstood. We don’t fit easily into modern society. The lights are too bright, sound is too intense, and much of what others consider “fun” will make us sick. Yet people with Migraine have always found creative ways to leave their mark on the world. While not everyone with Migraine will share the spotlight with famous patients, such as Van Gogh, Thomas Jefferson, Virginia Woolf, or Elvis Presley, we can all find ways to make a difference in each other’s lives.
Despite your own challenges, how are you a “legend” to fellow patients?
I have to start with the fact that I have very low self-worth… just from years of trying to work at work, trying to function, failing and people who judged me on that who made me feel ashamed and guilty.
My physiologist actually wanted me to list things I can do that I find worthwhile, that made me feel worthwhile anyway. I couldn’t think of anything. Because I couldn’t work.
He said what about your blog?
And I said I loved it and it was a great pain distraction and a way to spread awareness. I hadn’t mentioned it because blogging ins’t income you can live off of, so it feels like it isn’t much of an accomplishment. With the way I am feeling these days, it is momentous effort and I should feel a sense of accomplishment doing it when I am so ill.
It is very much the case that I don’t see value in myself. So when bad things happen, that is my fault. When good this happen, it is happen-chance or circumstances. I don’t give myself a break. But a lot of that value seems invalid because I can barely function or not function at all.
I wrote a chronic pain humor book and I am proud of that. And if this one gets good reviews, which means actually buy it, then I am considering a migraine only one. Listed on the link are also the fantasy fiction I have published. It is my number one pain distraction and a major passion of mine. But I am not sure many people know I write or my novels. So it is doubtful I am Known for it, let alone a Legend. But it does leave my mark on the world. And it makes me feel good to write the stories I experience in my head. A creative outlet when in pain is a great idea. We can temporarily distract ourselves. Other than writing, reading is my favorite pastime, and it makes me immensely sad I can’t do it since the vertigo bout started.
But when it comes to other people I think they value most my work on Brainless Blogger and on my Facebook page with image creation.
I think I provide interesting research. I help people to not feel alone in this battle. And I bring awareness. And I discuss a lot of facets of coping that we all share. I think people value that.
I may not be able to articulate myself well verbally with the hazy fog in my head, aphasia from migraines, and dizzy spells from the vertigo that make me right spacy and sometimes really disorientated and confused. But I can write. This blog is the only thing left I can do, when things are in a good zone for a short little bit. I haven’t been able to write my fiction as I am too out of it to keep track of my Own plot.
But I think people value my writing. It is about the only real skill I have outside of work.