I get migraines. I get a lot of migraines. My head is just one big migraine. But not every migraine is alike. And even the main symptoms of a migraine vary. Maybe one day insanely photosensitive and the next literally the sound of plates touching is excruciating.
Here are the types of migraine to be aware of:
The as soon as you leave the house migraine
You feel pretty decent so you decide to do a Thing. And immediately regret leaving the house. This one is particularly nasty when it hits while you are far from home or cannot get back home right away.
The ‘hey, I almost made it through the day without a migraine’ migraine
This is what I call a damn fine day. But just when you think you will actually have a migraine free day BAM you are nailed with an evening migraine. Almost made it. But didn’t.
The Midnight Surprise
You are literally asleep minding your own business. Maybe having an intensely vivid dream involving pain and wake up in a boatload of pain. Sometimes this is the ‘morning surprise’ at which you wake up in the morning with a full-blown migraine. And that is a damn bad day.
The Right-Side Surprise
I get migraines starting on the left and sometimes they spread to the whole head region. But when they surprise me on the right side for some reason the pain is horrific. It is like my brain wants to switch it up but when it does it magnifies the pain to epic proportions.
The Stress Letdown migraine
So you have been very stressed. And then the weekend comes and it is time to relax. Only your brain blows the hell up due to the stress reduction. But it can also blow the hell up from the stress. So this one is totally uncalled for.
The Slow and Steady
This migraine starts with like a pre-headache in the prodrome. Heavy on the prodrome with fatigue, brain fog, and excessive yawning. And a steady increase in pain. At first, you are like ‘is this a migraine?’ and then when all the symptoms kick in and the pain increases you’re like ‘yeah, there it is.’
The Crack of Lightning migraine
This migraine is the flash storm of migraines. You are fine and then you really, really are not fine. High-level pain just slams into you. I’m not going to lie, this one literally feels like your brain is imploding. This is extremely non-functional. This is movement of any kind makes it insanely worse.
The ‘Fooled ya’ Migraine
This is a bad migraine. So you take your triptan and it works. Yay! But then about two to four hours later it comes right back at you. Boo!
The ‘What the actual hell’ migraine
This is the sort of migraine that lasts days. And wears you down. And doesn’t respond to treatment. So you wear an ice hat, slather migraine balm all over your head, take magnesium and still can’t manage it. So then you do all that again. And then try other things. But you have to just wait it out.
The trippy neurological migraine
Pain varies with this one but what makes it distinct is all the effing aura action. From visual effects to tingling to aphasia, and vertigo. Also called ‘I am so confused’ migraine. And ‘what the hell is going on?’ migraine.
The ‘my entire head is on fire’ migraine
This is the one where we say ‘my hair hurts’ and ‘My pain is so intense my teeth ache’. It travels down into the jaw and teeth. It causes the intense burning of allodynia pain.
The sick migraine
This one mimics the flu in all its funness. Including extreme nausea and usually vomiting. And the extra bonus of diarrhea. Imodium is our friend. As is peppermint tea, ginger tea, and anti-nausea meds.
Migraines can be insanely varied. I have had one long vestibular migraine since last November (if that is the cause of the vertigo). Migraines are like a box of chocolates… you always seem to pick the one with nuts no one likes.