It is time for the Chronic Voice link-up for August
Today’s prompts are:
I have been in a bit of a mood slump lately. I can’t figure out how to manage the vertigo symptoms. And being laid out like that is frustrating. I can’t figure out my finances and I can’t work. It is frustrating that I can’t work to relieve some of the financial burden of being chronically ill. But I can’t because the vertigo is nutbars and I keep thinking it will get better and then it just doesn’t. I have no clue what to do to resolve the financial issues that come with having no bloody income. I just can’t figure out these issues. And I just can’t figure out how to function with the vertigo on some level.
I have been working on my latest novel in the functionally best part of the day, which is the morning on good days. I have been having a real hard time with it because cognitively I am not at my best. The errors I made with the vertigo symptoms even at their mildest is frankly astonishing. And I do deal with cognitive issues from migraines and fibromyalgia that have been a frustration for years. This is just so much worse. But I have plodded along and I will soon be finishing that rough draft. I feel like that is an immense accomplishment in itself. But making it cohesive and coherent will take a substantial amount of time due to my limitations. It will be worth it though.
I have been exceptionally bored lately. There are a lot of hours in the day when you are not working. A lot of hours. On bad days I can’t function and have to rest all day (laying down is the best position for me). So I watch TV. And daytime TV sucks (Except The Social which I am digging). It is excruciatingly boring mostly and I can’t do a thing about it. I do flip through Facebook but when that is all you can do… that gets boring. On days where it is moderately bad, I can do things like coloring (I can sort of zen out doing this even when I can’t think straight) or play video games (Diablo because it is the best damn game, to me). I can do a bit of writing or blogging in the morning, as long as it isn’t a severe day. But I don’t know, I am really bored. But limited a great deal in how I can alleviate that with just long periods of rest needed for everything I do. Then the day is gone and it seems like I did nothing all day. That slice of the morning that I can function better on good days… I want to read, I want to write, and I want to blog… but I can’t fit all of them into that slice of time. I have to choose. And then things get worse from there and I can’t do much at all. But, I am thankful for that window of time, because the severe days just drive me nuts with my inability to do anything at all. I get it. I am not well and I need to rest. And I do. But it is just mind-numbing sometimes.