A Chronic Voice prompts: Figuring, completing, boring

It is time for the Chronic Voice link-up for August

August link-up figuring, completing, boring

Today’s prompts are:

  1. Figuring
  2. Completing
  3. Boring
  4. Cuddling
  5. Chatting

Figuring

I have been in a bit of a mood slump lately. I can’t figure out how to manage the vertigo symptoms. And being laid out like that is frustrating. I can’t figure out my finances and I can’t work. It is frustrating that I can’t work to relieve some of the financial burden of being chronically ill. But I can’t because the vertigo is nutbars and I keep thinking it will get better and then it just doesn’t. I have no clue what to do to resolve the financial issues that come with having no bloody income. I just can’t figure out these issues. And I just can’t figure out how to function with the vertigo on some level.

Completing

I have been working on my latest novel in the functionally best part of the day, which is the morning on good days. I have been having a real hard time with it because cognitively I am not at my best. The errors I made with the vertigo symptoms even at their mildest is frankly astonishing. And I do deal with cognitive issues from migraines and fibromyalgia that have been a frustration for years. This is just so much worse. But I have plodded along and I will soon be finishing that rough draft. I feel like that is an immense accomplishment in itself. But making it cohesive and coherent will take a substantial amount of time due to my limitations. It will be worth it though.

Boring

I have been exceptionally bored lately. There are a lot of hours in the day when you are not working. A lot of hours. On bad days I can’t function and have to rest all day (laying down is the best position for me). So I watch TV. And daytime TV sucks (Except The Social which I am digging). It is excruciatingly boring mostly and I can’t do a thing about it. I do flip through Facebook but when that is all you can do… that gets boring. On days where it is moderately bad, I can do things like coloring (I can sort of zen out doing this even when I can’t think straight) or play video games (Diablo because it is the best damn game, to me). I can do a bit of writing or blogging in the morning, as long as it isn’t a severe day. But I don’t know, I am really bored. But limited a great deal in how I can alleviate that with just long periods of rest needed for everything I do. Then the day is gone and it seems like I did nothing all day. That slice of the morning that I can function better on good days… I want to read, I want to write, and I want to blog… but I can’t fit all of them into that slice of time. I have to choose. And then things get worse from there and I can’t do much at all. But, I am thankful for that window of time, because the severe days just drive me nuts with my inability to do anything at all. I get it. I am not well and I need to rest. And I do. But it is just mind-numbing sometimes.

See other link-up posts:

July

June

January

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9 comments

  1. I’m sorry you’re struggle with the ‘figuring’ parts at the moment, but I’m not surprised – it’s quite the catch-22, and I’m finding it a challenge (understatement) myself too with worrying about the future, not working and no income, no idea what I’m going to be able to do work-wise now with my health being as it is and surgeries in the way. It’s something I don’t have any answers to, even though I wish I did so I could help you in some way. It gets to me so much, I make myself sick worrying and thinking about it (money, jobs, career, money, jobs..cycle continues…) I guess we just have to hope that there will be other avenues, new things to explore, better days to come, new ideas that help us move forward when the time is right. Whenever that is. Sorry I’m of no use whatsoever..! With the boredom issue, I’ve tried taking a few freebie online courses (like from OpenLearn) and doing a little when my brain can concentrate for a slice of time, gives me a feeling of accomplishment. Maybe something like that, learning anything new in general really, could give you a better sense of ‘doing’ something when you feel up to it?
    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah that financial instability thing is really getting to me. But I like your idea about free courses. I feel like if I try it and I can actually do it, then I might feel a bit better about what I can do.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for joining us in the linkup this month, Nikki. I’m sorry to hear about the financial issues, am also in the same boat but my partner and family supports me so that relieves a lot of stress. I don’t really know where to proceed with my life from here, though. And I’m sorry your symptoms are giving you problems such that you can’t even do the things that will help alleviate some boredom, or that you want to do! It’s really a rock in a hard place. I wish you all the best, here’s to more uptime in our days! x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I can’t say it is helping the process for sure. But it seems to be like peak writing time in the morning before the symptoms go nuts. So I have been working on this one then.

      Like

  3. Hi Nikki! I’m visiting you through A Chronic Voice’s August link-up event and I’m really glad to meet you. I think we’re already following each other on Twitter, but I haven’t had much of a chance to read through your blog in the past.

    Like you, I have severe issues with vertigo. This has been happening since I was 26 and I’m now 43. I’ve never found a work around with it except to look forward and not down or up. It seems like when I keep my eyes on the horizon, it never feels like the world is rocking and rolling so much. My migraines are insane and I also suffer from Fibro like you. I’m looking forward to getting to know you better. Spoons to you for this month!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorry you have the vertigo issues as well. It is such a nasty symptom to deal with. I do find it helps if I do not move my eyes too much… and no sudden head movements. I have had it for years, in the sense I have had these bouts of it severely and then lesser severity. But this go around, I don’t know, the cognitive issues with it are hard to overcome and deal with.

      It is nice to ‘meet’ someone who has the same conditions mixed in there. My migraines are insane as well. Really hoping to try that CGRP blocker when it hits Canada.

      Like

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