I wrote a post about our sense of self with illness and your feeling of having a purpose is part of that. I wish this for us all. When we stop working there is a massive void we have to deal with. And we are ill. So it is very difficult to find things we are capable of.
- That don’t aggravate our symptoms too much.
- And something we have to be able to not do some days. That has no set schedule.
- That we can spend as little or as much time on it which varies every day.
- That we enjoy and makes us feel better about ourselves
- Something within our reduced limits and we can pace in different ways
Am I able to participate to the extent that the others do? No, I am not. While others stand on risers, I’m often seated on a chair nearby. I admit to feeling guilty that I’m not putting forth as much effort as the others. But no one cares except me. I was careful to make my energy limitations known to the director before accepting membership. As long as I could manage to stand during performances, being seated during the three-hour rehearsals was acceptable to her.
When our health is very poor it is hard to search for that sense of purpose, but when we have small improvements then we begin to feel that edginess. That feeling like there is a lot of lack in our life. And what the hell is our purpose without work?
And the hunt begins. Which is different for us all. What can we do that helps out self of self, self-worth, and gives us a sense of purpose?
I have to say that is is a worthy quest to go on.
- You could take on old hobbies.
- You could explore new hobbies.
- You could start to slowly engage in the hobbies you already had but stopped.
- We could volunteer to something that is important to us if we find something that is flexible and not scheduled.
- We could take a course online in something that interests us.
- You could start a blog
There are a lot of possibilities for things that can fit into our level of illness. And this also means doing the things that make us feel we have some sort of life. A different life, yes. Paced and we have to be within our limits. And to have this means socializing with friends within your limits and being with your family within limits.
The value to me is immense
- It helps with my self-worth
- It helps with my sense of productivity
- It helps as a pain distraction
- And it helps with my self-identity and sense of purpose
- Makes me feel less guilty about not being able to do much at all
- And it makes me feel good mentally and emotionally