So last Thursday I went for a medical review with a neurologist on behalf of my insurance company. I know I have had vestibular migraine, sporadically, since around 2009. But this, this is something constant and enduring. I am just not sure it is the same. Neither is the ENT given the difference in my ears. So I am not even sure I will ever find out what type of vestibular disorder this Is. I only know I am being sent to a treatment plan that I dearly hope has some sort of positive effect.
The insurance company requested this meet with the neurologist because they want their own assessment. And so I think it is biased against me any way you look at it. They will pick out of his report anything that suits them. And ignore anything that implies I cannot work at the current moment.
Also I had vestibular symptoms. I felt horrible and drained and just miserable… then I also got a wicked migraine. So I don’t think I said everything I wanted to say or mentioned everything I should have.
Like I forgot to mention laying down is the best for me symptom wise. That my ears ring. That my hearing can go in and out. That I feel an ear fullness. And likely So much more. I just felt too zoned out to really answer open-ended questions. When asked about migraine meds I couldn’t think of one. But when he listed them I could definitely say yes or no with the information. But when he asked is there anything else you have done, other symptoms or anything else you would like to say… I couldn’t think through the mud.
So I don’t know.
I worry about it because I have been fighting for short-term for a year now. I am tired of this constant fight for something I have no control over. The vestibular symptoms started and they just have not gone away. I can’t drive. And I just function a little bit with medication. I can’t work like this even though financially I am so screwed right now without any assistance from disability. I think they just hoped I would give in. But I can’t. In the past, I would and go back to work with all that unmanaged pain and become suicidal and have an attempt. Because what is the use of fighting a battle you can’t seem to win with evidence? It was very depressing.
And you know, this whole chronic migraine and fibro deal has always been a constant issue with me working. Always. Those alone are killer. Let alone this constant dizziness and vertigo.
And it is depressing now as well because I can’t push through it and I can’t go back to work and pretend to function. Not until the symptoms subside. And I have high hopes for the vestibular treatment in a few months. I believe it will help. The ENT sent me there for more tests and the rehabilitation because other than the vestibular migraines I have had since 2009… this is a new factor. My ears have a 45% difference. And VM is the brain, not the ears. So what is causing this? I am not sure. But it isn’t VM. It is constant and the dizziness is always there let alone when the other symptoms jump in and that is Not like vestibular migraines I have had for years. This is the longest severest bout of vestibular symptoms I have ever had in my life.
So I don’t know what they want from me. If they do not believe the ENT, then I have no idea who they will believe. Or what evidence they need. I mean it is nutbars to fight so long for short-term over something this serious.
So I have no idea if this review by this neurologist is going to do a thing to benefit me when my insurance company simply doesn’t care.
So that was my fun 2-hour long assessment. I just felt worse the longer it went on. So tired. So fuzzy. And then this killer migraine. That is my latest vertigo update. And I will be going to the vestibular clinic within a few months- 4 at most. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. I have no choice but to fight this.