So I had taken off my slow release tramadol a while back now. And it sucks.

I have been in so much pain lately and I have no idea if this is what fibromyalgia feels like without pain management or it is that possibility that I have MS (Still not confirmed) that is causing the extra pain.

I hurt all over. Bottom of feet pain, knee pain, hip pain, back pain, shoulder pain, elbow pain, wrist and hand pain, and brutal ribcage pain.

Life Without Painkillers

What this means functionally is that:

  • I cannot exercise. At all.
  • I have a difficult time getting upstairs
  • Walking is painful
  • Laying down is painful
  • Sleeping is very difficult so I have not been getting a night of good sleep for some time now

And it frustrates me

Since that neurological assessment the insurance company ordered me to do and his recommendation I go off my painkiller my doctor has not been helping with pain management. And this hurts a fuckton. I need something to tolerate it. And if she will not help me then I am going to explore my options with cannabis that is legal here in Canada. I ordered the best strains for pain and I am giving it a go.

The opiate crisis

The opiate epidemic punishes chronic pain patients. Period. I doubt it even helps with addiction since most people with an opiate addiction use illegal products. And certainly to prevent addiction a mild injury doesn’t need an opiate. But those of use with constant relentless pain have few options. And when you take away our opiate medication… down goes functionality… down goes quality of life. It is horrific to punish us for a problem we have no ownership of. Plain and simple.

So if I were working and not disabled… I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to work from the pain alone. And I highly doubt I could use pot and also work. That just wouldn’t work.

It is a real dick move to not help someone manage their pain. A real dick move. I am going to have to call the pain clinic and ask them what the hell I am supposed to do now. Meditate on the pain? Not sleep forever? Beats me. But until then I am trying cannabis and have a post I will be writing soon post my results of this exploration which may help you in your choices if it is legal where you are.

See other posts

Is chronic pain and illness part of your identity

Chronic pain: Achiever fever

Chronic pain: catastrophizing 

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31 thoughts on “Chronic pain: Life without painkillers

  1. I was just talking to someone at work today about how unfair it is to those who have chronic pain and can’t get help because of someone else’s decision to abuse opioids. It really does suck. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain and I do hope you find relief soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. People need to start filing lawsuits. Doctors can’t just legally stop giving you what you need to live.

    However, if you’re still getting around with pain and not having anxiety attacks, they may assume it’s not that bad. You have to go to the emergency room if you’re in that much pain and otc stuff doesn’t work .

    Weed is very expensive and may not work as well as the meds. I think it’s a way to make people buy or grow their own. It’s not cheap either way.

    I rely on my meds to live otherwise I would end up having a heart attack from the stress and pain.

    God bless you and give you abundance of what you need.


    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry. I sometimes fear I will get kicked off opiates too. You are so right-I’d be bedbound if it weren’t for Tramadol and a low dose of Oxy when I really need it. There’s simply no way to live for us with chronic pain; aside from pain meds. It’s so disheartening!! Great post I can really relate to. Thanks!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m so sorry to hear this. It isn’t fair and it’s just criminal. The crazy thing about it (in my humble opinion) is that none of us want to be on pain meds (or any meds for that matter)!!! The illness makes it a requirement. Try to hang in there-sending strength and love ❤️️


  4. Nikki!!! Yes, go to a pain clinic… I fear there will continue to be barriers tho- the thing is, it’s not the pain patients abusing opioids! Just like you said, we are trying to reach a level of pain relief so we can FUNCTION, nothing more! People who are abusing this stuff aren’t suppose to be taking it in the first place! They are snorting it, shooting it, taking way more than anyone who is prescribed it does… in my state, a representative just signed a stupid bill that’ll make it very difficult for our state to even have access to some drugs because this dudes son OD’ed on pain killers that he wasn’t even prescribed! It is a fucking mess… damn it! Your pain sounds like fibro pain. The giveaway is the chest pain, costochondritis! People with fibro get it frequently. Also the painsomnia, and the actual act of just lying down causing pain. It feels like all your organs are moving, painfully moving! I wish I had answers. I wish I knew where to even start to combat this. I’m sorry this is happening in Canada, too. Sucks.🤬

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I just do not know if it is FM going nuts or what they call the MS hug which is very similar. But I won’t know for a while. All I know is it is very painful and makes it very hard to sleep. And just comes and goes in a weird pattern

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I rarely get any pain meds because the doctor doesn’t think they are necessary, and now I struggle horribly trying to work. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Pot helps a bit, but can’t use it while working so not a real option. It does help with sleep a bit, but I still dont sleep through the night and as you know struggle the next day because of little sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I find pot helps a little for that and sleep but I am on disability for other things… so not like I can afford it. And if I can ever work again… I’d be in the same spot not like you can at work


  6. I’m slowly weaning myself off of my ER tramadol because my state has it on the list of short acting opioids, when it is neither short acting nor an opioid. All this so I can keep the hydromorphone that actually does help my many headaches.
    Also have had my fentanyl patch reduced by over half, and I’m really feeling the pain. Just the past 3 days I’ve had severe edema in my right leg.
    I hope my doctor will take pity on me and fight with the insurance about the tramadol, but he most likely won’t. So I’ll sit here in increasing pain and try to not want to off myself, and grieve how the pretty active person I was in 1994 turned into a bedbound sloth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was just in a surprising amount of pain without tramadol. It got to be I couldn’t do anything like that. Thankfully the pain clinic did Not agree with my doc. Anyway. Things are getting horrible for all of us these days. And it is cruel.


      1. It is extremely cruel. In a year and a half I have gone from sometimes forgetting the pain (if I was doing something else) to now being very aware of it ALL the time. This past week my right leg had developed some bad edema, so I’m supposed to stay in bed with my legs elevated. I would love to chop my lower half off, but then I would still have the pain from everything else. My doctor knows I’m in too much pain, but my insurance doesn’t want to budge. Time for me to either decide to fight it, or just wait for the end to come.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I fought it. Hard. I mean it is Wrong plain and simple. I just fought and fought until I got what was right… some actual pain management.


      3. My hubby doesn’t have any pain meds, even though his new doctor readily admits that he’s in Intractable pain. The first thing they tell you when calling any pain management office here is, “We do NOT prescribe opioids.” Then they don’t manage a whole lot, do they?

        I’m a rapid-metabolizing mess. All the gabapentin in the world doesn’t cover all the nerve pain. Once I’m off the tramadol, I’ll have two actual “pain” meds, and he wrote the short acting script essentially to keep me from being extremely tachycardic all the time and shaking like a Parkinson’s patient. I guess a resting pulse of 120 or below is acceptable to them – it’s certainly not to my body.

        Being a patient advocate as well, I hear the worst of the worst patient experiences. It finally hit me last night that now I’m one of them. Twenty one years is a long time to be sick; granted, I’m only 45 now, but those two decades took more out of me than I like to admit.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I too have just had to come off the slow realise tramadol as it was reacting with my sertranline and causing more problems which really does suck .I have been suffering with chroinc back pain for over ten years and i believe i has something else as well as all my joints ache the list goes on .
    Since stopping the tramadol my pain has increased and there isnt anything else they want to get me, so i am currently trying the antipatch and cbd oil which iam still trying to find the right dose.
    But one thing is for sure chronic pain gets under looked and as iam in the uk the NHS seems to like to waste its money where as if they listened to there patiences they would save money and have more pepole living a much better quality of life .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankfully my pain clinic put me back on it. As he disagrees with my doc on this issue. I did try pot and ot does help with fm but sort of iffy for migraines


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