A Chronic Voice: prompts for August

Time for A Chronic Voice August Prompts!

  • Capturing
  • Financing
  • Controlling
  • Exchanging
  • Motivating

A Chronic Voice: Prompts for August

Capturing

I thought I would capture some images of life with chronic pain and chronic illness.

  1. Playing scrabble with my spouse- he kicked my ass
  2. A paint by number painting my friend got me and my spouse and I finished
  3. Going to RibFest
  4. Filling my pill sorter
  5. A good pain day
  6. Playing crib with my spouse- I won. 1 game out of 3. But still. I so rarely beat him at crib that it was worthy of taking a pic
  7. Charlie helping me write my latest fiction book

Financing

You know this is just a depressing topic for me and many of us. My spouse still is not working… but he is working on trying to do something so hopefully that pans out. We still have debts we can’t pay. Not sure what to do about it yet. Bankruptcy is an option I am assuming that I can’t ignore. It is seriously stressing me out. It is like a problem with no solution unless I was suddenly cured and could work full-time again.

I would really love to edit my fiction books I have self-published and edit the ones I will soon self-publish as well as buy covers to be made… and it seems out of reach. Just can’t afford that sort of thing. Too poor to even be a writer? It seems so. So I will try to save my pennies which means publishing maybe every couple of years or more if I am very lucky. I wish that wasn’t the case. I think I have made a barter with an editor though. She edits and I beta read for a collective of indie authors. Sold! And my latest book is being edited by a new editor that is doing it for free for me to promote her work… so that is Awesome. I would love to use her for that whole series but we shall see. I was hoping to use my blog and book sale money for that and just save it over time… but I don’t know, sort of need every penny I can get for bills.

Controlling

I am aware very little is in my control. I don’t like that, by the way. But it is just the way it is. But I do know some things are in my control. And now that the pain clinic has put me back on my pain killers I have been slowly starting my exercises again. So slow since I have done nothing since the vertigo hit 2 years ago now. So it is immensely painful. Starting with short walks and some physio to build up the weak areas… this will help with my poor balance due to the vertigo as well. It is an important part of my treatment to the pain clinic that I exercise and with pain killers, I am capable of it… without not even in the least bit. Say what you want about opiates (I’m on tramadol slow release) but I would prefer to function a little rather than not at all.

Exchanging

We are always exchanging are we not? For what we cannot do for what we can? It is all a balance. Life the life we can and not the one we cannot. And let that imaginary life Go.

Motivating

I admit I have been having some motivation problems. Partly it is the fact migraines have been nutbars lately. Partly it is just the constant dizziness and bouts of vertigo and the balance issues… just so tiring to just Do things. Pain is now somewhat managed so that does help. But I still struggle. So I tell myself to do as I say to others and do 15 minutes of housekeeping a day and if that is all I can do… so be it. So be it. At least I managed something. And do a little writing, even if it is just a few paragraphs. Just a little bit. It is difficult with the pain and dizziness combined into some combo that just wants you to just sleep and rest and not do a damn thing. I have to drag my ass to do anything. And then rest. But at least I do a little.

See other A Chronic Voice Prompts

July

June

May

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Advertisements

14 comments

  1. Thanks for joining us as always, Nikki. I’m sorry to hear about the financial situation, too. Sucks, doesn’t it. No other way about it. Love the pics you shared about chronic life as well! And I agree on pain meds being a big help…these days if I need to I don’t hesitate to take out..that way I can feed myself better, move more, etc, which in the long run are more beneficial than gritting my teeth in bed. Sending love x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The financial situation is going to suck for a while so nothing new there. Just sucks. But the pics do show I have a little life despite the vertigo… so that makes me feel good. And it is so good to have the pain managed somewhat

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Nikki

    I hope the editorial exchange works out it sounds like you have a lot of creativity waiting to get out in the world. Fair play to you pushing through without motivation it’s no easy feat and must seem daunting after two years. Hopefully it gets easier and the benefits come swiftly. Take care, Niamh

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope the exchange works out as well… since it would take years to save to edit one book and then what about the other books I have then written? It would be futile. At least this way some will get edited. And I can promote them without inwardly cringing because I know there are typos… which I loathe.

      Like

      1. Now you’re in with them it might open you up to more peeps in the biz. Typos be gone! It’s so vulnerable and brave to have your work in other people’s hands but in the right hands and you might get all your work out there one day if they can keep up with you that is! 🤞

        Liked by 1 person

  3. The photos are awesome but I’m sorry you are having so many difficulties in life. Sometimes taking life in little chunks at at time is the only way forward, but it still means you are going forward.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I am going forward… just feels so much slower than I am used to or want or wish for… but forward it is. I just have to make it to the neuro apt to see what it what

      Like

  4. Hi Nikki, sorry to hear about your financial struggles. Are you based in the UK at all? If so there is a great charity called StepChange who were a fantastic resource when I was having money troubles.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Nikki

    Love the images that you have shared showing life with a chronic illness. So sorry to hear of your ongoing difficulties, I hope that you find a way through them. You have so much support in your online community! Wishing you all the best

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Nikki. I didn’t know you are a fiction writer. What genre do you write, or does it vary? I don’t think I would ever have the patience, or talent for that. I loved looking at your photos, thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am a fantasy fiction writer. Under the pen name Lil Hamilton. I have a real passion for it. Maybe also the escapism helps with pain? lol Not sure. I recently made a deal with an editor that she would help me edit my works if I beta read for some writers… because obviously being on disability I cannot afford an editor. And that was the best news I have had in a long time. Anyway, it is definitely a passion of mine. Harder now that I have vertigo… so slower.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.