I am on a pain killer. I know. The horror of it. I must be some sort of addict or something. Well, fuck that. I have no quality of life without them. And I have a right to quality of life and proper pain treatment. If I don’t I do nothing. Doing nothing causes muscles to atrophy. Which causes more pain. And more mobility issues. And this is a Bad Thing. And my pain doctor is well aware of this, as am I. So I am on them so I can function a little. Exercise a little. Do a little. And hopefully, this will get better once the vertigo is managed and a little better and a little better. So my muscles do not rot into mush.

I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t function. I was having some mood issues again. Mobility issues. Exercise? Yeah, that was out of the question. Stairs were my nemesis. Add that to the vertigo and that was not a life. So I went back to the pain clinic and he put me back on my pain killer. And I am very thankful for that. And I have been able to sleep a bit better and exercise somewhat (vertigo is making it very hard but hopefully the neurologist will help with this issue soon). But I have some pain management and that means a Whole Lot.

Chronic pain: Don't steal lives, doc

Stealing quality of life

The opiate epidemic is stealing the lives of people with chronic pain by taking away their pain medication. And they don’t even care. The doctors say they are being intimidated and pressured. I’d feel some sort of sympathy if not for the fact of the pain and suffering they are causing by stealing the life from people. So sorry but not so sorry. I understand they feel pressured. But when people are dying because they have become suicidal due to lack of pain control…. I’m sorry if I lack sympathy for the pressure they are under.

When you tell us to suck it up? I am telling them to suck it up, buttercup. We are dying. I want you to think of every suicidal patient you have and how many you have lost and think a little about what role your choices played in that. Yeah, the government made the rules. And yeah you feel pressured and intimidated to follow them. And yeah it isn’t your fight I guess. But it is our lives here. You life stealer. When your patient kills themselves I want you to look their family and friends in their eyes and say ‘I failed them’. That is what I want. I am so sick of excuses for this. I am so sick with your ‘well, have you tried meditation?’

Yeah, we have. With pain killers. And all the other things we did to manage our pain to have a little bit of life we had. And you took it away from us. And you think One thing can replace that? You are lying to yourself.

So I know it isn’t your fault. That this blew up in your face. In all of our faces. That it wasn’t caused by you. And you are not to blame for it. But we didn’t cause it either.

  1. We do not Own the addiction to the opiate problem.
  2. We didn’t Cause it.
  3. We are not to Blame for it.

And yet we are being punished for the opiate epidemic

No one remembers the pain epidemic. Or how difficult pain is to treat. Or the consequences and risks of unmanaged pain. No one remembers that at all. Or they do not care about disabled people because we are not useful to society. We cannot be fixed. Or cured. So what worth are we?

Roy Green: Chronic pain patient’s secretly recorded phone plea for help

Listen to my program podcast from last weekend, and you will hear what took place.  You will hear a desperate Beth pleading with a bored-sounding CPSO representative for understanding, for caring, for respect.

You will hear Beth explaining to the CPSO rep that suicide is on her mind.

The response? Indifferent acknowledgment that Beth had done everything which might reasonably be expected of someone driven to desperation by intractable agony.

Help? None. What might Beth do additionally to help her cause? The CPSO representative was clearly stumped by the question.

Beth’s being driven to suicide by her pain? Silence. Not even the perfunctory issuing of a phone number to a suicide prevention hotline.


And that is all we get. Silence.

Not to be healthy

I ask again what does this tell you about the society you live in? My society? Yours? That suffering like that can be ignored? That cancer patients even can be denied pain medication? Terminal cancer patients… even if you illogically believed everyone on painkillers are addicts (which is fundamentally ludicrous) what would it even matter when they are dying and just need to manage the pain? And we are not addicts. (Tolerance and dependence to any medication is Not addiction). Only a fraction of people even become addicted to painkillers and only a fraction of them get them from doctors. And there are far more people in unmanaged pain who cannot function without painkillers and serious pain management.

I have been suicidal. I have tried to kill myself. When I had no pain management. I think that is cruel. And vile. And wrong. And would the blame been solely on me for not being able to handle that level of suffering for that length of time… or the lack of pain management? It wasn’t that I wanted to actually die… I just wanted the pain to stop. I just needed a break from the pain that was so relentless. I was desperate. It was a raw desperation. And I just couldn’t take it anymore. And that isn’t irrational thinking. That is the thing. I wasn’t being irrational. I was right. It is Madness to suffer like that 24/7 without ever even the possibility of relief. And that is what they are offering people… no possibility of relief. Ever. And you think they are not going to have suicidal thoughts? I mean, how stupid could a doctor be to think you could just let someone exist like that and they wouldn’t think… well, if I just died I wouldn’t have to feel this pain anymore. It rips my heart apart to think people are in that mental place right now because of what doctors have chosen to do to them. It breaks my heart knowing they are in that place. That horrific place.

You can’t steal their life like that. You don’t have the right. You shouldn’t have that right. You destroyer of lives. You life thieves. You call yourselves doctors. Shame on you. Shame on you for doing it. Shame on you for your silence. You wouldn’t treat your loved ones like that. Your dog or cat gets better pain management than your patients.

Our quality of lives matter

Our Lives matter

And I don’t see why we have to be as silent as you are about this. Maybe people should hear our screams. Maybe we shouldn’t be so stoic about our pain. All those silent lives lost. And no one cares. No one even blinks. Because, well, those addicts need help. Help them, punish us all. We die, to save them. We are the silent statistic. The silent screams. When will our voices be heard?

If this sounds like a rant, well, maybe it is. Maybe I am a little bit angry about every single death in the pain community I have read about. Maybe those lives matter to me and certainly to their loved ones. They should matter to Someone. That a life was lost that never should have been. That didn’t have to be. That could have been prevented. But, no, all we get is silent indifference. So yeah, I’m angry. I’m furious. I’m sick of us having to fight so bloody hard to be listened to and get some sort of treatment… and most often denied it. I’m lucky. I’m very lucky I have pain management. But I’ll tell you this… it could poof out on the whim of a doctor in seconds. And I am very aware of that.

See more about chronic pain

Chronic pain widespread in Canada

Pain awareness: The opiate issue

The war on pain

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18 thoughts on “Chronic pain: Don’t steal lives, doc

      1. Same exact thing happened to me in USA. The doc precipitously cut off my pain med and referred me to a “pain management” inpatient exercise program. As if I were capable of exercising! I became bed bound & unable to keep up with meal preparation so health deteriorated even more. Fortunately, here in USA, I was able to write my congressman and get the Veterans Administration to send me to a rheumatologist who writes the Rx. But I still have to leap through burning hoops to get it filled. Thanks for speaking out.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah went they take us off med I have no idea how they expect us capable of exercise. I do exercise With meds but it is a very, very slow process With them


  1. This is an awesome post about a real problem that no one is talking about. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so powerfully. I too am angry! More people need to understand this and people in pain need to be heard and treated with the dignity and respect we give animals, for God’s sake!! Very well written. Thank you for “speaking “ for those of us suffering in silence.
    ~ Tamara

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I too am angry. And this post is the response to that fury of mine. I think we all have a right to be angry about this. It is vile treatment of humans.


    2. Absolutely brilliant article.. I’m fortunate that my GP realises that opiates are the only things that help me and continues my prescription BUT he won’t increase it when I become tolerant again because he’s been told he can’t. He knows that tolerance and dependence do not mean addiction and I can prove it. On a really good day I can miss several doses of my short acting painkiller without noticing, without craving another dose. On a bad day I’m clock watching and desperate for it but all I get told is to reduce what I take. I am NOT an addict. I’ve lived with chronic pain for over 30 years now and I’ve had enough. After a recent heart attack, I stopped smoking for 6 months but then that little voice in my head said, well if you continue it might just offer you a way out of this constant agony. I no longer live. I exist doing nothing for half a day until I’ve had enough pain relief to make a slight difference but even then doing something as simple as a doctor’s appointment sends me to bed for days.. Going out with friends ( The few who are left) or having a holiday or walking my dog are unthinkable. A tiny increase in dose could give me back my mobility and energy but I’m no longer allowed it. I am NOT AN ADDICT. I just want quality of life. I watched my dad die in unspeakable agony from cancer. How can they do that?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can relate. Pain killers help me with functioning. Without them I am in too much pain. I have been off of them. When they took me off and I wasn’t addicted then. Just in a whole lot of pain.


  2. I feel like there is more that can be done than just telling a patient to suck it up… That’s really the easiest way out and misdiagnosis can happen because of this. Everyone’s lives are important and their voices should be heard. Sending you lots of well wishes.

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well they do say things like meditation and exercise. The only issue I have with that advice is that that is what we did On meds as part pain management. Alone why would they think it would help? Worse how do they think most of us can even exercise without assistance? I couldn’t without pain medication… that is how I function. It is just fear and laziness anyway. They avoid one tool that may really help someone… and then wonder why that patient becomes depressed and suicidal.


  3. Thank you for the words. I could have written that a few months ago. Only it wasn’t JUST the government bullying our doctors, here in the U.S.A., but the insurance companies refusing to pay for it as well. Anything to save a little money. Since money is more important
    than lives.

    I am under the care of a great pain
    doctor now for my back and neck pain and we’re going to try to make my stroke pain go away. (My entire
    left side of my body feels like it is on FIRE)Not much helps that, but I’m
    still trying. Before the crackdown on
    opiates my stroke pain was
    managed well, not now. Taking away
    my opiates has caused me countless
    days and nights of uncontrolled
    pain. But I will persevere. Sometimes its just nice to know I’m not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re definitely not alone. This is a problem that is widespread. I was taken off mine… on the recommendation of my insurance company . And my quality of life tanked. But the pain clinic thankfully overruled that choice. I’m glad they at least understand the risks and consequences of pain… so far.


  4. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone for once. No one truly understands unless they live in pain 24/7. I had insurance problems as well and my family doc quit writing my RX & referred me to Pain Mgt. I had to keep rescheduling it due to insurance. Now I’ve been totally without for 3 days and can not get in til next Thursday. I’ll survive but it’s aggravating when I don’t abuse them & never have plus I worked for that family doc office for 20 years!! Thanks for a great article!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. We have to really fight hard for pain control these days so posts like this I feel are really, really important. Some of us get taken of pain meds. Some don’t get put on them. And some of us get treated very poorly for needing them. And none of that is right. We need quality of life.


  5. My GP recently retired and in switching doctors I was told up front the clinic will not prescribe pain meds for any reason. Fortunately I have a pain clinic also. They are punishing us for what others miss use.
    I am accountable with Urine test etc. I’m guessing where there is abuse of narcotics the patients were not being tested to see how much and what was in their system.
    The government takes away without giving adequate replacement. Also alot of treatments that might help like acupuncture, hyperbaric chambers, musculoskeletal massage etc. Are not covered by insurance.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a Major complaint I have mentioned before. They take away treatment and replace it with nothing. So people can’t function anymore. Or they suggest alternative treatments that are all out of pocket and we cannot afford them and may not even work for us


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