Time for A Chronic Voice’s Prompt linkup
It is the New Year. I am not one for New Year, New Me. A migraine will soon set me back to earth if I had such delusions. Nevertheless, it is an arbitrary date of potentiality for change. So if the last year sucked, which it did, for me. We can be hopeful that the next year will not. But hope isn’t going to do a damn thing if we sit around doing nothing to motivate it along. And that is why we make resolutions. I personally do not like them. I like to ponder goals in the next month or so that I want to achieve slowly through the year step by step inch by inch. And maybe these goals are small and minor but for someone in poor health, they can be significant for the quality of life. And improving that is my basic aim at all times. Improve my mood, my wellbeing and my quality of life. I cannot change what I cannot change. The physical things are what they are. I have but control over the slim aspect of my thoughts and reactions and actions. But there is power there. So here is to a New Year. And I hope the best for us all!
Here are the blogging prompts
- Purging
- Seizing
- Opening
- Revamping
- Envisioning
Purging
I am every so slowing purging things from the house. Clothes that do not fit. Books I do not read. It feels good to get rid of clutter. But I have to do it slowly because that is my speed these days. Tortoise speed. Nothing wrong with that.
I am purging these old ideas of self. This idea that I have low self-esteem and self-worth. That Impostor Syndrome is just part of my nature. That traits cannot be changed and adapted and changed as I know they can with just a little effort when we look at the feelings behind them. I deny they are who I am. And I will become something different as I purge them and replace them with a new idea of selfhood.
Seizing
I am working on things that give me passion and seizing that right now. Since I have little else I can do at the moment functionally. And creativity gives me energy. I feel like it gives me purpose. It isn’t the only purpose I have right now it just fuels me right now.
Here is my latest poem called THE GAME
It’s the way of the world and there’s nowhere to go,
We dance in our chains all the way to the grave.
Hey, hey there it’s fine, it’s all part of the show.
We are all part of the machine and society’s slavesWe dance in our chains all the way to the grave.
Fight, fight the good fight!
We are all part of the machine and society’s slaves,
It doesn’t matter if you’re right.Fight, fight the good fight!
Hey, hey there it’s fine, it’s part of the show.
It doesn’t matter if you’re right.
It’s the way of the world and there’s nowhere to go.
And my New Year’s Poem of the night THE FIRE
THE FIRE
We all burn by our own blazing fire
Loved by passion’s bittersweet kiss
Toss ourselves into that joyful pyre
What a horror and bliss
Loved by passion’s bittersweet kiss
Thought but a whim; reason’s little knot
What a horror and bliss
Desire and passion are all we got
Thought but a whim; reason’s little knot
Toss ourselves into that joyful pyre
Desire and passion are all we got
We all burn by our own blazing fire
My latest drawing which is pretty simple, just a sketch
And the first of the year/ not done yet but almost there
My other purpose is to work on my health but so little of that is in my control. It is dependant on others. And waiting for others. So I will. But then I will put all the effort needed to progress forward.
Opening
I am opening myself to new ideas. I am always opening myself to new ideas. But I have been slowly reading some non-fiction that has been really interesting and thought-provoking. And it is changing some theories I have which is always a good thing. Theories need to adapt and change over time. And when we get a new perspective on things, life, illness all these things are good. Move us forward.
Revamping
I am changing some writing. Thining of doing another Manual book. And another non-fiction. Always thinking and changing my thought process. It will take some time and editing and revamping of course. And thinking and rethinking but I like all that. It is just slow progress because my mind is a wee bit hazy these days. Anyway, it helps me think through things.
This is the book I have at the moment:
Envisioning
I am envisioning a good year. I do hope for a diagnosis for my vertigo and a treatment. Possibly I will be put on one of the CGRP blocking meds like Aimovig for migraine and maybe that will make a massive difference, one never knows. So this year has potential for my health. At least, I do hope it does. I cannot think this stagnation will continue. I believe that progress of some sort will be made. One way or the other. Perhaps simply in my own mindset and ideas and coping if not any physical changes.
It’s funny. I started doing some of these things (purging) without really haven’t a method to the madness. Just doing what my instinct told me to do. Can’t wait for the next manual
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I have no method either. Just as I go along. I hope the next manual turns out well. Is fun to work on anyway
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I hope you do get that new medicine for your migraines. I can’t believe that mine finally stopped (2 years after my hysterectomy). Migraines are impossible! Vertigo is awful, too. I was diagnosed by a physical therapist. She had a high-tech diagnostic set-up and adjusted the crystals in my canals. Very interesting stuff. I hope you get help with this.
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Yes I do hope happen this year. That would be awesome
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I was diagnosed with Vertigo by my physical therapist. She had a high-tech set up and it was very interesting. I hope you get help!
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I got a diagnosis of Vertigo by my physical therapist this past year. She had a high-tech set-up. It was very interesting and afterwards she worked on adjusting the crystals in my ear canals.
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I am aware of that one. They ruled that one out. It is actually a common one and has happened to more than a few people in my family but can be corrected which is great.
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I was diagnosed with Vertigo by my physical therapist. It was very interesting how she did it and then she adjusted the crystals in my ear canals. I hope you get help, too.
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I have heard of that one and what they do. Had that correction done several times just in case but it isn’t that one. Unfortunately. But I do hope they figure it out soon.
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Hey Nikki
Happy New Year, I do hope that 2020 provides answers and improvement for you.
Thank you for again sharing your perspectives on the prompts and life with chronic illness, they are so insightful and your constant quest for answers and for anything which will help is inspiring.
Good luck with writing your books.
Rhiann x
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Thank you! ❤
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Hey Nikki your creativity is overflowing you definitely in the zone. I hope the cgrp meds help you this year to get through your projects. I love how a book can make you look at something completely differently. I hope to get lost in many this year if you’ve any recommendations I’m all ears xx
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“I cannot change what I cannot change”
Yes! And knowing that is the first step to moving on towards the things we CAN change! Such a great post, you had me hooked right from the first paragraph. Thanks for sharing your voice!
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Thanks! ❤
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I’m loving your poetry, mine has been neglected for a long time now and I was wondering if it was something I should drop or continue with. I’m also totally with you on the tortoise pace, it drives me crazy but I’m slowly getting used to it. And vertigo is bummer! Good luck with all you do this year x
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I do poetry just because I enjoy it really. I love it as a form of creative outlet. I just do it because I love doing it really, nothing more.
Good luck to you this year as well! ❤
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Rhiann,
I understand feeling like everything is moving at a turtle’s pace – that idea of not having control and having to take each step so very very slowly hurts!!
Acceptance and managing hope are so essential to building your best possible life though – I’m reading a bit of both from you, which is good, but I just want to remind you that there’s always a little something you can do for yourself – write about what you’re greatful for, plan some extra bits of fun and joy into your life – and seize those opportunities as they come by(as well as purging those negatives or things that hold you back. I know I need to work on that physical purging stuff, we’ve got way too many things cluttering up our apartment, but that’s something I tend to find really challenging!
Thanks for sharing what you’re managing, and I hope you find some useful answers soon!
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I do write in a gratitude journal and a sort of emotional awareness journal to keep up with my mood maintenance. Got to do the work on that! ❤ don’t want to sink into a slump
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