I am looking for answers. My neurologist is pretty sure I do not have MS but I sure as hell do have a suspicious amount of lesions that look like demyelination. And it makes me wary. And I wonder if it is Not MS then why are they not ruling out other things that make lesions and mimic MS? Or why are they not doing a spinal tap… just in case? So I am wary I am undiagnosed with something that potentially could cause issues in the future.
However, I am looking forward to migraine treatment and more vestibular testing that will a) potentially help reduce migraine attacks and b) tell me if the vestibular issues are migraine-related or not… and if not then we can look at other causes. So that is my next line of attack.
January was a rough month for me. Migraine attacks were frequent, as in daily, and high pain. It was brutal. So not very playful. But I do look forward to that diminishing back to normal and fitting in at least 1 day a month for a game night with friends or a game night with my spouse. I do enjoy that because it is something that is not too energetic, so I can do it in moderate pain and moderate vestibular symptoms… just depends on the game… since I cannot focus that well. But some games I am cool with and either way I do enjoy myself and that is the whole point. And doing things in a controlled environment is nice for migraine attacks that are not super duper severe in intensity… although usually, I pick a triptan treatable migraine day.
I have not been super sociable because of the pain levels last month and the vertigo was also acting up… just not a good picture at all. I do hope to be a bit more this month potentially. Maybe go out for karaoke 1 time this month… I support my friend while she sings… I am too introverted for that myself. But we visit with people and hang out and have fun. And it is nice to get out of the house at least once a month.
Sooo there is a real theme to this post… pain, vertigo, I’m a human meatball. I just haven’t been that functional. But I do have a couple of really interesting non-fiction books I am working on right now I want to get Back into when my brain will fricken let me. One is Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain Which is Really interesting so far.
Okay, so January sucked balls. I want to ditch all that. And get out of that feeling. This extreme fatigue that comes from too much dizziness and pain. This unmotivated goo. This stagnation. And physical weakness. And that means some gentle, slow exercise. Getting into some hobby work slowly… just to get my mind energized a bit. Some slow housekeeping- ten minutes a day even. Slow and steady- increase my energy a little bit, pacing, and resting along the way, because, well, vertigo is exhausting. Easy does it, but get out of this energy slump that all that damn pain caused. Assuming the damn pain gives me a little damn break here. Winter just Blows.
Here are some things I do when in a motivational slump: Chronic illness: Productivity and motivational hacks