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A Chronic Voice: February Motivational slump


I am looking for answers. My neurologist is pretty sure I do not have MS but I sure as hell do have a suspicious amount of lesions that look like demyelination. And it makes me wary. And I wonder if it is Not MS then why are they not ruling out other things that make lesions and mimic MS? Or why are they not doing a spinal tap… just in case? So I am wary I am undiagnosed with something that potentially could cause issues in the future.

However, I am looking forward to migraine treatment and more vestibular testing that will a) potentially help reduce migraine attacks and b) tell me if the vestibular issues are migraine-related or not… and if not then we can look at other causes. So that is my next line of attack.


January was a rough month for me. Migraine attacks were frequent, as in daily, and high pain. It was brutal. So not very playful. But I do look forward to that diminishing back to normal and fitting in at least 1 day a month for a game night with friends or a game night with my spouse. I do enjoy that because it is something that is not too energetic, so I can do it in moderate pain and moderate vestibular symptoms… just depends on the game… since I cannot focus that well. But some games I am cool with and either way I do enjoy myself and that is the whole point. And doing things in a controlled environment is nice for migraine attacks that are not super duper severe in intensity… although usually, I pick a triptan treatable migraine day.


I have not been super sociable because of the pain levels last month and the vertigo was also acting up… just not a good picture at all. I do hope to be a bit more this month potentially. Maybe go out for karaoke 1 time this month… I support my friend while she sings… I am too introverted for that myself. But we visit with people and hang out and have fun. And it is nice to get out of the house at least once a month.


Sooo there is a real theme to this post… pain, vertigo, I’m a human meatball. I just haven’t been that functional. But I do have a couple of really interesting non-fiction books I am working on right now I want to get Back into when my brain will fricken let me. One is Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain Which is Really interesting so far.


Okay, so January sucked balls. I want to ditch all that. And get out of that feeling. This extreme fatigue that comes from too much dizziness and pain. This unmotivated goo. This stagnation. And physical weakness. And that means some gentle, slow exercise. Getting into some hobby work slowly… just to get my mind energized a bit. Some slow housekeeping- ten minutes a day even. Slow and steady- increase my energy a little bit, pacing, and resting along the way, because, well, vertigo is exhausting. Easy does it, but get out of this energy slump that all that damn pain caused. Assuming the damn pain gives me a little damn break here. Winter just Blows.

Here are some things I do when in a motivational slump: Chronic illness: Productivity and motivational hacks

See more A Chronic Voice prompt Posts



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17 thoughts on “A Chronic Voice: February motivational slump

  1. I am sorry that you don’t have definitive answers about MS. It’s frustrating when all we want is to know what we are dealing with. I am in a similar situation. My dr suspected MS and began testing. He found lesions on my spine. Neurological tests also indicate MS. Then he went on to ask me which MS medication I wanted to try first. So I asked, you are sure I have MS? He said NO! That led to me demanding we finish the testing (still waiting on a brain scan and spinal tap) before prescribing medication. I was denied and told that it was my HMO protocol to prescribe meds before finishing the testing. I may never know if I have it or not. So frustrating. I hope February treats you better than January!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am sorry to hear about all the continuous pain and medical troubles you’ve had to endure…I am amazed at how you manage to keep on, and even do such much blogging on top of work. Sending love ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I have been disabled for 2 years now. And cut my blogging down, still 2 posts a week, but I used to do 4! lol Yeah, I used to be a prolific writer. I cannot real let alone write as much now. But I Need to write some… it is part of who I AM. And it helps with my self-worth

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry it’s been such a painful month and that you still don’t have any answers. It can take so long to diagnose auto-immune neurological disorders. I was told from the off that I was too old to have MS (at 50) despite having symptoms for many years but just dealing with it. I did get so many tests though, and although I do have demyelination on my spine, I have no lesions on my head, and a lumber puncture/spinal tap ruled it out. I suffered from the most awful migraines for many years but they eased off once I went through the menopause, I always figured my hormones were a trigger though. Be patient, but don’t be fobbed off and I hope you get some answers and good treatment soon. I hope February treats you more kindly.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Hey Nikki, I am so sorry that doctors have been unable to give you any definitive answers to whether or not you do have MS, I know from experience how exhausting and worrying it can be. I hope that you can get some answers soon, and able to find some relief to the very debilitating symptoms. All the best for the rest of February x

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Sorry to hear about your health concerns. We had a worrying week in January when my 6 year-old daughter got called to hospital for a lumbar puncture and MRI scan despite having no physical symptoms of illness. I took her for an eye test last summer and the doctors found that she has swollen optic nerves. We still don’t know if there is a problem but her recent scans and tests showed nothing. All of this medical testing is frustrating and slow, but at least we have access to it. I hope you can find some relief from your pain.

    Liked by 2 people

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