Time for A Chronic Voice Writing Prompts

Prompt words

  • Beginning
  • Symbolizing
  • Enduring
  • Revealing
  • Gracing
Pandemic 2020- When the world stood still

Beginning- Year 2021

I’m not one for a new year, new me sort of deal. Especially not this year. Really, just glad I got through last year. I made no New Year’s resolutions either… I think this will be a rough enough ride without any other goals in there. However, I am hoping things will slowly improve as the year goes on for all of us. I hope the vaccine rolls out quickly. I hope this then slowly improves the economy. I hope that my spouse can then find work. I hope when the pandemic slows speed I can then get treatment for my vertigo. So lot of hope for the new year.

Symbolizing

I have drawn a lot of things that represent my feels for 2020 for sure. And I also wrote two poems about the pandemic. I wrote them early in.

One of the last paintings of 2020.

Enduring

2020 was a lesson in enduring for sure. Enduring horrible symptoms of pain and vertigo I couldn’t do a thing about. Enduring isolation. Enduring financial instability.

I think I realized I can endure a lot more than I think I can. Perhaps I learned that lesson a lot time ago and am just reminded of that. That I just need to keep going inch by inch and hope that some factors will slowly improve. That I can build back what was destroyed. Rebuild all over again. Not like I have not had my world crash before- from illness but still I’m used to unpredictability.

I know it is a shock to the system to lose you job or career and left floundering to find something to replace it in an economic time when there is not much out there. I know this because I have lost jobs and careers due to chronic illness and disability. And my options for finding something else were always very limited… to nill when I became disabled. Knowing this feeling I know what it is like to grieve that. To feel a bit of a blow to the self-worth. But I also know rebuilding from scratch is always possible. At any time, at any moment, we can remake ourselves. We feel we have stability, a stable sense of self, a stable life, a stable career. That we have control. It isn’t true. It is an illusion we live with. And when it crashes it hurts like hell. But rebuilding all of that is always possible.

Revealing

I guess the one the I learned is that getting down to basics and just surviving is all you have to do sometimes. Yeah, things may crash all around you but there is nothing wrong with starting over. Nothing wrong with surviving a horrible time and then rebuilding after. Like many of us will have to do, slowly, in the next few years or more. Piece by piece we will create new lives with new values.

Maybe it is a lesson in how very unpredictable life is. How very fragile our lives are. How difficult it is to survive financial adversity when you are disabled. I think we already knew this. I think we experienced all this at other times. It is just that 2020 was a lot of things all at once for everyone all together.

I learned a whole lot about what isn’t important in 2021. I de-cluttered to sell things for money. Things I didn’t need and I think that teaches us how many Things we just do not need. I cut and lowered bills- again demonstrating just how little we actually need. Need vs. desire. We got roommates (my brother and SIL) because they will help us with bills and we help them- helping each other through a time that is not economically secure or stable. I have accepted help from family and friends and anyone to help me get by. In the end, you do all you can to cut the extras and keep every penny you can. Just make it through. And making it through is all that matters. I hope that we all make it through.

And when we do- then we can think about rebuilding anything that we lost from all this. And what we do will not be the same in many ways. There is nothing wrong with that either. Things change.

See more

Will society adapt for the better after the pandemic
What I was grateful for in 2020
Top posts of 2020

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11 thoughts on “Pandemic 2020- When the world stood still

  1. I think I’d characterize the pandemic as revealing too. Like your poems says, looking within, what will you find? A lot of spiritual work was put in by lots of people. Not even spiritual revelations or spiritual fulfillment, just the work, and we’re still slogging thru.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not many people are used to stillness and introspection, I think. Often in regular times people are too busy for it. I think so much of it now is a bit hard to handle for some people. For me it just helped me dig further into things. Which often is a good thing,

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really enjoyed reading your reflections on such a trying year. I especially appreciated the insight that “there is nothing wrong with starting over” and doing so slowly.
    Here’s to 2021 being a year of rebuilding. Hope your year is off to a good start Nikki!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I enjoyed reading your reflections. It is so important for us to learn that it is ok to rebuild, ok to move forward in a new and different way, ok to simply survive. Thank you for these reminders and for sharing your poetry.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was thinking sometimes we feel guilt or shame that we lose a lot of things, compromise a lot, and have to start all over again. Expecially at a certain age with obligations or societal expectations.

      But I realized everything that is lost is just not that important in the scheme of things. The really important things remain. And rebuilding happens in life sometimes, at any stage. And takes us in all sorts of directions. Surviving hard times is what matters. What we create after will be different for sure, but different may be good.

      Like

  4. Hello again Nikki, I could not have related to the start of your post more! In my recent post, I talked about how I do not ever feel like the new year will bring a new me, especially with the continued presence of chronic illness affecting every facet of my life. Nor do I like setting goals or resolutions, as I never know if I will be able to keep them for the same reason. Yes, if chronic illness teaches us anything that sometimes in life, all you can do is survive, and that is OK. Thank you for reminding us all. Happy New Year, and wishing you all the best for 2021 – fingers crossed it will be a better one for us all. Take care x

    Liked by 1 person

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