It is time for A Chronic Voice Link Up prompts!

Prompts for April

  • Springing
  • Grounding
  • Luxuriating
  • Daunting
  • Sustaining
Text: April Birthday and lifestyle changes
Image: tree with white flowers


Spring isn’t a thing here until April and sometimes even April can be ‘finicky’. We just has an impressive March blizzard, for example, so that certainly was Not Spring-like. So April is a sign of Actual Spring. And while it also kicks in allergies and migraine weather, I like Spring because it just flips my mindset out of broody, deep winter.

And I like that I can get out and about for walks again. It is so very hard to exercise with this vertigo I think that is about all I can actually accomplish at this point.

April also happens to be my birthday month, at the end of it anyway. I suspect it will be another pandemic birthday. I suspect we will be in full lockdown again by then. But I find a way to make it a good day anyway. I did last year.


I have consistently been doing daily relaxation breathing and meditations. I always did meditation but I wasn’t exactly consistent with it and now I have developed a really good morning routine with it. I think it is vital during these times to manage my stress levels.

I have also been doing a medication change. I have reduced my depression medication by half. And see no increase in depressive symptoms. My doctor said we can assess if I can try going off of it altogether. This is intimidating but I think past due. I do have depression and will always be prone to it becoming significantly more severe. However, since I’m not working I can work on managing it in other ways. And those methods seem to work well enough without working full-time- which increases pain, decreases sleep, and increases stress from both of those and then tanks my mood- a cycle I am very familiar with. I know my pain limits and I know exceeding them is a major risk factor for me. A lesson I have learned the hard way so many times over I do not want to repeat that again


I will save all the luxuriating for my birthday. I will make that a day of all the things I enjoy Most. Because I know I will not be able to spend it with friends and family so I sort of have to make it a fun day as is.

I was trying to get some basic body maintenance things done before things all shut down again. Like I went and got a prescription put in my Avulux glasses. Got that checked off. And I set myself up a dentist appointment, long overdue now because of the pandemic. But due to a flare-up of severe vertigo for over a week, I wasn’t able to get to that dentist’s appointment and not sure when I will be able to. So that sucked. It is very hard to get things done when my brain really is unpredictable in its level of functionality from day-to-day. From Nill, to Barely, to Mildly. Because I am still waiting on that vestibular clinic appointment. Sigh. So those basic things I wanted to get done would have felt really good to have done. But pandemic. And stupid vertigo.


I did get a sleep study done. And I flunked it. Surprise. I’m not sure how I flunked it and won’t know until next week but I find it very likely it is sleep apnea. That is why I asked for it. I found when I took a nap I would wake up just not breathing. Not gasping for air or anything just like- pausing? Anyway, I do a ridiculous amount of weird things in my sleep. It is insane. Sleep apnea though, means I Definitely have decided to quit smoking. It sort of is an obvious thing. I have asthma, which is getting way worse. I have this vertigo that may or may not be Meniere’s Disease, which would Also mean I have to quit smoking (I was only holding off till actual diagnosis but who even knows when that will be, eh?). And now maybe sleep apnea. So really. Come on. Enough already. Just have to get it done.

But quitting smoking is a daunting task. I try. I fail. And repeat.


I am sustaining. That is all I can say at this particular point with my health. Unfortunately. Soon I will be off one of my vertigo medications and I will no long quite be sustaining. I can hope if I make changes in my lifestyle I can keep up but it is hard to say.


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11 thoughts on “April birthday and lifestyle changes

  1. I used to smoke. Nasty habit. Then I had those tests to see what you are allergic to. You know, they stick needles all over your back to see what you react to. Tobacco was one of the allergens I reacted severely to. I quit cold turkey, after several years of trying and failing. The diagnosis was the kick my brain needed to say, ‘enough, I’m done’. You have to really, really want to quit or it never seems to work. I am really bad at will power. Really bad. You sound much more upbeat here, so it seems things are going a bit better for you. Me, too. More light maybe, but I am actually getting a few things done here and there, and not needing several naps every day. Yay, us. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good luck with your lifestyle changes! I suspect I have developed hay fever symptoms which has made my eye condition worse, so I’m currently working out what to do about that. There’s always something eh?!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy birthday for later, I hope you manage to celebrate in some way.
    I’ve just completed a sleep study too. My husband often wakes me up because he’s sure I’m not breathing. Of course, the night I did the test was one of the best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages.
    Do try and give up smoking, it honestly will improve so many things. Get some proper help to do it and be kind to yourself. I found the Alan Carr method did it for me. If you can meditate then I’m sure you can do it. Good luck.


    1. I am quitting smoking. So far my main problem is it is hard to distract myself because I have such low functionality with the vertigo… so hard to think of anything else. Usually I would just do something. I can’t Do anything now. And that is frustrating me.


  4. Happy Birthday, Nikki! I’m so sorry to hear that your province might be going into lockdown again. My parents are in Ontario and they’re on their third full lockdown. It seems to never end. Anyways, I am sure you’ll find a special way to mark the occasion. I’m sorry to read about your insomnia and sleep apnea. My husband’s sleep apnea is so severe, it is terrifying. He has had surgery to correct it, but that didn’t work and he still snores loudly and stops breathing. After 18 years together with my own primary insomnia diagnosis, we’ve finally decided we need to sleep apart – unless he quits smoking. If he does that and his sleep apnea improves, I’ll be happy and I’m sure he will be too! Take good care and have an excellent birthday month!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Happy Birthday, a bit early. Sure hope it will be luxuriating and able to spend with a few friends. Have you gotten your COVID vaccination, yet? I can’t imagine the fear you would have about going off all your medicine. I hope it treats you better than expected.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I haven’t got my vaccine yet. Still on the waitlist here. My bf has his first shot as he is First Nations. He is just waiting for his second.

      Out COVID numbers are getting high. I suspect I will not even be able to have friends outside this year.


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